1
00:01:12,100 --> 00:01:13,300
Hey, Brennan.

2
00:01:14,700 --> 00:01:17,600
Mom, I'm watching the thing
with the lady.

3
00:01:17,800 --> 00:01:19,700
I'm leaving. Okay?
I'll be home around 11.

4
00:01:19,900 --> 00:01:22,500
- Bye, Mom.
- Bye, Brennan.

5
00:01:22,600 --> 00:01:26,900
<i>Let's slowly get those hips up.
Good. Now, hold it right here. Great.</i>

6
00:01:32,400 --> 00:01:33,600
Dale.

7
00:01:33,700 --> 00:01:35,700
Dale, I'm leaving for the conference.

8
00:01:35,900 --> 00:01:39,300
- You leave me money for pizza, Dad?
- Yeah, there's $20 on the hall table.

9
00:01:39,500 --> 00:01:41,700
Do not order pay-per-view, buddy.

10
00:01:41,900 --> 00:01:44,500
- But what if I want wings?
- You don't need wings.

11
00:01:44,700 --> 00:01:46,100
That's not enough, Dad!

12
00:01:46,300 --> 00:01:47,800
The RTI cochlear implant...

13
00:01:48,000 --> 00:01:50,600
...is the state-of-the-art
implantable hearing device...

14
00:01:50,800 --> 00:01:55,000
...due to its input processing of sound
via the speech processor.

15
00:01:55,200 --> 00:01:57,900
But the most exciting
new development...

16
00:01:58,100 --> 00:01:59,600
...is the external processor...

17
00:01:59,800 --> 00:02:02,000
...which fits directly over the ear...

18
00:02:02,200 --> 00:02:06,300
...which eliminates the need to put
your face between those breasts.

19
00:02:09,000 --> 00:02:13,400
I'm sorry. I'm just... I'm so lost.
And this never happens to me.

20
00:02:15,900 --> 00:02:19,000
My name is Robert, and I play
racquetball. I collect coins.

21
00:02:19,200 --> 00:02:20,900
Sweet Jesus! I love Korean food.

22
00:02:21,100 --> 00:02:23,900
I am Nancy Huff. I know
how to make tandoori chicken...

23
00:02:24,100 --> 00:02:26,200
...I contribute to NPR
every single year...

24
00:02:26,400 --> 00:02:28,400
...and I love the movies
of Rob Reiner.

25
00:02:28,500 --> 00:02:30,600
Pilates changed my life.

26
00:02:30,800 --> 00:02:33,900
I have a boat, and I wanna retire
and sail around the world.

27
00:02:34,600 --> 00:02:36,700
- I love the sea!
- And I drive a Mercedes...

28
00:02:36,900 --> 00:02:39,800
...and I have a 40-year-old son, Dale,
who still lives at home.

29
00:02:40,100 --> 00:02:43,100
- What did you just say?
- I knew I shouldn't have told you that.

30
00:02:43,300 --> 00:02:45,200
I have a 39-year-old son
named Brennan...

31
00:02:45,300 --> 00:02:47,900
...who still lives at home with me.

32
00:02:58,000 --> 00:03:00,500
I would like to thank all of you...

33
00:03:00,600 --> 00:03:04,900
...for being here with us
on this fantastic, wonderful day.

34
00:03:05,000 --> 00:03:08,200
And I would like to raise my glass.

35
00:03:08,400 --> 00:03:12,300
Dale and I wanna welcome you
to our home with open arms.

36
00:03:14,300 --> 00:03:17,100
- Get a room, Dad.
- Oh, for chri... Dale!

37
00:03:18,100 --> 00:03:21,800
Well, as you all know, my youngest
son, Derek, couldn't be here...

38
00:03:22,000 --> 00:03:24,300
...because of an important
fishing trip.

39
00:03:24,500 --> 00:03:29,800
But my other son, Brennan, was going
to be moving into his own place...

40
00:03:30,000 --> 00:03:33,100
...but he was recently let go
from his job at PetSmart...

41
00:03:33,300 --> 00:03:37,100
...so he is gonna be living with us.

42
00:03:37,200 --> 00:03:40,400
I wasn't fired from my job,
I was laid off!

43
00:03:40,600 --> 00:03:42,700
But you wouldn't
know the difference.

44
00:03:43,000 --> 00:03:47,400
I didn't want salmon!
I said it four times.

45
00:03:50,600 --> 00:03:52,500
This wedding is horseshit.

46
00:03:57,000 --> 00:03:59,900
Somebody's awfully quiet
back there.

47
00:04:00,900 --> 00:04:03,000
I'm not gonna call him Dad.

48
00:04:03,600 --> 00:04:05,400
Brennan, you're 39 years old.

49
00:04:05,500 --> 00:04:07,600
I would not expect you
to call him Dad.

50
00:04:07,700 --> 00:04:12,400
Well, I'm not going to, ever.
Even if there's a fire.

51
00:04:13,400 --> 00:04:16,100
Robert better not get in my face...

52
00:04:16,700 --> 00:04:18,900
...because I'll drop
that motherfucker.

53
00:04:19,100 --> 00:04:20,400
Jesus, Brennan.

54
00:04:20,700 --> 00:04:24,800
I'm just saying, I think
you gotta think about your options.

55
00:04:24,900 --> 00:04:27,800
I know that you are
technically married now...

56
00:04:28,000 --> 00:04:31,600
...but that does not mean
that they have to live here.

57
00:04:32,400 --> 00:04:37,000
Dale, I think it's time for a change
for both of us.

58
00:04:38,100 --> 00:04:40,900
Dad, we're men, okay?

59
00:04:41,100 --> 00:04:43,600
That means a few things.

60
00:04:43,800 --> 00:04:47,400
We like to shit with the door open.
We talk about pussy.

61
00:04:47,600 --> 00:04:51,000
We go on riverboat-gambling trips.
We make our own beef jerky.

62
00:04:51,100 --> 00:04:54,400
That's what we do.
And now that is all wrecked.

63
00:04:55,300 --> 00:04:58,200
We literally have never done
any of those things.

64
00:04:58,400 --> 00:05:00,600
Where did he go to medical school?

65
00:05:00,900 --> 00:05:03,300
He went to Northwestern
and Johns Hopkins.

66
00:05:03,500 --> 00:05:06,900
- Is that good enough for you?
- No, it's not.

67
00:05:07,200 --> 00:05:10,900
Well, Brennan, those are
very prestigious schools.

68
00:05:11,500 --> 00:05:13,900
I smoked pot with Johnny Hopkins.

69
00:05:14,000 --> 00:05:16,600
You don't know anyone
named Johnny Hopkins.

70
00:05:16,800 --> 00:05:19,700
It was Johnny Hopkins
and Sloan Kettering...

71
00:05:19,900 --> 00:05:22,700
...and they were
blazing that shit up every day.

72
00:05:22,900 --> 00:05:26,300
All right, here's a scenario
for you, Dad.

73
00:05:26,500 --> 00:05:28,800
Suppose Nancy sees me
coming out of the shower...

74
00:05:29,000 --> 00:05:31,900
...and decides to come on to me.
I'm looking good.

75
00:05:32,000 --> 00:05:34,200
I've got a luscious V of hair...

76
00:05:34,400 --> 00:05:37,800
...going from my chest pubes
down to my ball-fro.

77
00:05:38,000 --> 00:05:40,700
And she takes one look at me,
and she goes:

78
00:05:40,900 --> 00:05:42,300
"Oh, my God."

79
00:05:42,500 --> 00:05:46,600
"I've had the old bull,
now I want the young calf."

80
00:05:46,800 --> 00:05:50,400
- And she grabs me by the wiener.
- Shut the fuck up!

81
00:06:03,000 --> 00:06:05,300
- Come on, Brennan.
- I'm fine here.

82
00:06:07,900 --> 00:06:10,100
- There you are.
- Hi.

83
00:06:10,300 --> 00:06:13,200
Oh, you look so cute
in your moving clothes.

84
00:06:13,400 --> 00:06:15,000
- How was it?
- It was easy.

85
00:06:15,200 --> 00:06:17,000
The movers did everything.

86
00:06:20,400 --> 00:06:21,500
Where's Brennan?

87
00:06:22,700 --> 00:06:24,900
He's still in the car.

88
00:06:25,100 --> 00:06:26,600
It was kind of a rough drive.

89
00:06:26,700 --> 00:06:28,900
Hey, Robert,
what's all the commotion?

90
00:06:29,000 --> 00:06:31,700
- Hey, Don.
- Is that your wife, Nancy?

91
00:06:31,900 --> 00:06:34,300
- Right here, Don.
- Can I come over this afternoon...

92
00:06:34,500 --> 00:06:36,400
...and touch your face?
- Sure.

93
00:06:36,500 --> 00:06:37,700
Thanks. Good luck, guys.

94
00:06:37,900 --> 00:06:39,000
We'll see you, Don.

95
00:06:39,100 --> 00:06:41,900
Let's go, Cinnamon.
Heel, Cinnamon.

96
00:06:43,300 --> 00:06:44,900
Heel! Cinnamon!

97
00:06:47,000 --> 00:06:48,000
Cinnamon!

98
00:06:48,600 --> 00:06:49,800
Hi, Dale.

99
00:06:50,000 --> 00:06:52,700
Hey, Nancy. Could you make me
a grilled-cheese sandwich?

100
00:06:52,900 --> 00:06:54,400
- Sure.
- No.

101
00:06:54,500 --> 00:06:57,700
Dale just ate. He's testing you to see
how much he can get away with.

102
00:06:57,900 --> 00:06:59,600
- I see.
- I'm hungry.

103
00:06:59,800 --> 00:07:01,400
Look in your right hand.

104
00:07:01,500 --> 00:07:03,900
- I sure don't mind a bit. I really don't.
- No, no.

105
00:07:04,100 --> 00:07:06,200
No, no. He's fine.

106
00:07:30,400 --> 00:07:31,500
Hey.

107
00:07:32,200 --> 00:07:33,300
Hey.

108
00:07:33,800 --> 00:07:35,100
I'm Brennan.

109
00:07:35,600 --> 00:07:37,000
I'm Dale.

110
00:07:37,500 --> 00:07:39,400
But you have to call me Dragon.

111
00:07:40,900 --> 00:07:43,100
You have to call me Nighthawk.

112
00:08:03,500 --> 00:08:04,500
Brennan.

113
00:08:06,800 --> 00:08:08,000
Please don't do that.

114
00:08:15,800 --> 00:08:18,900
Now, that's enough ketchup.
Come on. Dale.

115
00:08:20,300 --> 00:08:22,100
- I like it.
- That's enough.

116
00:08:22,300 --> 00:08:24,400
Dale, I don't know if you...

117
00:08:24,900 --> 00:08:29,500
You might wanna try this.
I make a sauce, we call it "fancy sauce"...

118
00:08:29,900 --> 00:08:31,100
For me.

119
00:08:31,300 --> 00:08:35,000
- that Brennan really likes
with his chicken nuggets.

120
00:08:35,200 --> 00:08:36,400
It's my fancy sauce.

121
00:08:36,600 --> 00:08:41,800
Well, when Brennan finishes,
I'll give you some of this, and it's...

122
00:08:42,000 --> 00:08:45,200
It's ketchup and mayonnaise
mixed together, so...

123
00:08:45,400 --> 00:08:47,200
It's so good.

124
00:08:47,400 --> 00:08:49,200
- I want some fancy sauce.
- Yeah.

125
00:08:49,400 --> 00:08:51,400
- I'm not done using it.
- Looks good.

126
00:08:51,600 --> 00:08:54,400
- Can I have fancy sauce?
- Of course. Of course.

127
00:08:54,600 --> 00:08:56,200
- I'm using it right now.
- Okay.

128
00:08:56,900 --> 00:08:59,600
- So let's just let him try some.
- You wanna try it, Dale?

129
00:08:59,800 --> 00:09:02,100
Yeah, I really would like some.

130
00:09:02,300 --> 00:09:03,600
Just one last spoonful.

131
00:09:04,800 --> 00:09:07,200
Hey, I think you've got
enough there, Brennan.

132
00:09:07,700 --> 00:09:09,500
- So here you go.
- Thanks.

133
00:09:09,700 --> 00:09:11,100
It's ketchup and mayonnaise.

134
00:09:13,300 --> 00:09:15,300
- I don't like it. It smells weird.
- Okay.

135
00:09:15,500 --> 00:09:16,900
- I'll try some.
- You want some?

136
00:09:17,100 --> 00:09:18,300
- Sure. Absolutely.
- Okay.

137
00:09:18,700 --> 00:09:21,200
You don't mind, do you, Brennan?
No. Okay.

138
00:09:23,600 --> 00:09:25,200
- Brennan...
- I'm not comfortable...

139
00:09:25,400 --> 00:09:27,600
It's okay. It's probably
not good on fish anyway.

140
00:09:27,800 --> 00:09:30,700
My dad's king of the castle, so if he
wants fancy sauce, he should...

141
00:09:30,900 --> 00:09:33,400
- No, it's all right, Dale.
- He can make his own batch.

142
00:09:33,600 --> 00:09:34,800
So you know what?

143
00:09:35,000 --> 00:09:39,900
Today, when you were driving around,
Dale was telling me that he's really...

144
00:09:40,000 --> 00:09:44,400
...into kung fu, and I was telling him
that you're really into kung fu as well.

145
00:09:46,500 --> 00:09:48,500
I have a green belt.

146
00:09:49,200 --> 00:09:50,400
Read it and weep.

147
00:09:50,600 --> 00:09:52,400
I don't believe in belts.

148
00:09:52,700 --> 00:09:55,000
There should be no
ranking system for toughness.

149
00:09:55,200 --> 00:09:58,500
But one time I wrestled a giraffe
to the ground with my bare hands.

150
00:09:58,600 --> 00:10:00,700
That's not true, Dale.
Don't be ridiculous.

151
00:10:02,700 --> 00:10:05,600
So, Dale, what have you been
working on recently?

152
00:10:05,900 --> 00:10:07,100
Well...

153
00:10:08,300 --> 00:10:10,100
...I manage a baseball team.

154
00:10:11,000 --> 00:10:14,200
- Little League?
- Fantasy league.

155
00:10:22,600 --> 00:10:24,400
Take a picture. It'll last longer.

156
00:10:24,600 --> 00:10:27,600
Why don't you stop
being so confrontational, Dale?

157
00:10:27,700 --> 00:10:29,400
I'm not the one staring at me.

158
00:10:30,100 --> 00:10:31,600
So, Brennan, how about you?

159
00:10:32,000 --> 00:10:35,600
I know you used to
work at PetSmart.

160
00:10:36,300 --> 00:10:39,000
- That's right, Mr. Doback.
- Call me Robert.

161
00:10:39,700 --> 00:10:42,600
- That's right, Robin.
- Robert.

162
00:10:43,000 --> 00:10:44,300
Robin.

163
00:10:45,400 --> 00:10:49,700
Actually, Brennan
is a really talented person.

164
00:10:50,100 --> 00:10:52,000
He's a very gifted singer.

165
00:10:52,600 --> 00:10:55,200
- I'm really, really good.
- How good?

166
00:10:56,500 --> 00:10:59,800
I've been called
the songbird of my generation...

167
00:10:59,900 --> 00:11:02,100
...by people who've heard me.

168
00:11:02,200 --> 00:11:03,300
That good.

169
00:11:03,400 --> 00:11:05,800
The only trick is
is that Brennan's very...

170
00:11:07,700 --> 00:11:11,200
...particular about
who he sings in front of, so...

171
00:11:11,400 --> 00:11:15,000
I'm his mom, for example,
I've only heard him sing twice.

172
00:11:15,200 --> 00:11:17,700
That's funny that you say that,
because I can sing too.

173
00:11:17,900 --> 00:11:19,600
In fact, I'll sing right now.

174
00:11:19,700 --> 00:11:22,900
<i>If you wanna get down
On these hairy balls</i>

175
00:11:23,000 --> 00:11:25,400
- Hey!
- <i>Why don't you jump right in?</i>

176
00:11:25,500 --> 00:11:27,400
<i>It's a crotch party right up in here</i>

177
00:11:27,500 --> 00:11:29,700
- Stop it!
- <i>Why don't you lick on this big joint?</i>

178
00:11:29,900 --> 00:11:32,700
Stop it, Dale! Stop it! Stop it!

179
00:11:32,800 --> 00:11:33,900
That's cute.

180
00:11:34,100 --> 00:11:36,100
I remember when I had my first beer.

181
00:11:36,300 --> 00:11:38,600
That's so funny,
the last time I heard that...

182
00:11:38,800 --> 00:11:40,800
...I laughed so hard
I fell off my dinosaur.

183
00:11:40,900 --> 00:11:43,800
Stop right now. All right?
Let's just back off.

184
00:11:44,600 --> 00:11:47,500
All right. Brennan, it's okay.
It's okay.

185
00:11:48,000 --> 00:11:49,400
Hey, hey.

186
00:11:49,500 --> 00:11:51,400
- Great, Dale.
- He said a mean thing first.

187
00:11:51,600 --> 00:11:54,300
All right, just...
Look, you know what...? Hey, guys.

188
00:11:54,700 --> 00:11:57,500
Okay, sleeping arrangements.
It's gonna be different...

189
00:11:57,700 --> 00:12:01,300
...but because Dale refuses
to give up his office drum set...

190
00:12:02,500 --> 00:12:05,900
...that means that, Brennan, you and
Dale are gonna have to share a room.

191
00:12:06,000 --> 00:12:09,000
- But it's just temporary.
- Mom, we didn't talk about this.

192
00:12:09,200 --> 00:12:12,600
Well, it's gonna be
an exciting adventure.

193
00:12:12,800 --> 00:12:16,700
You wanna show him the room, Dale?
Show him where he can put his stuff?

194
00:12:17,900 --> 00:12:21,300
- That's nice, thank you.
- Good night, Nancy.

195
00:12:22,000 --> 00:12:26,300
Hey, listen, I like to have
a lot of fresh fruit around...

196
00:12:26,400 --> 00:12:29,300
...and chocolate chips
in my pancakes. Okay?

197
00:12:29,500 --> 00:12:31,700
- Write it so you don't forget.
- Show him the room.

198
00:12:32,200 --> 00:12:34,500
She's Mom now, so...

199
00:12:34,900 --> 00:12:36,700
- Good night, Mom.
- Good night, Brennan.

200
00:12:38,200 --> 00:12:41,500
- Good night, Mr. Doback.
- Good night, Brennan.

201
00:12:49,500 --> 00:12:52,600
So just a few basic rules
about the house.

202
00:12:52,800 --> 00:12:54,700
If there's any foods that you like...

203
00:12:54,900 --> 00:12:58,400
...I suggest you put your name
on them, or they will be thrown out.

204
00:12:58,600 --> 00:13:00,100
By me.

205
00:13:00,700 --> 00:13:03,900
House was built in 1825
by General Custer.

206
00:13:04,100 --> 00:13:06,300
I wanna show you this room.

207
00:13:06,900 --> 00:13:08,600
Hold up.

208
00:13:09,400 --> 00:13:11,300
- You see this room?
- Yeah.

209
00:13:11,400 --> 00:13:13,300
Okay, here's the deal.

210
00:13:14,200 --> 00:13:17,600
This is my office
and my beat laboratory.

211
00:13:17,800 --> 00:13:19,300
Okay?

212
00:13:19,500 --> 00:13:21,500
And this is the one rule of the house:

213
00:13:21,700 --> 00:13:25,300
Don't ever, ever, ever...

214
00:13:25,500 --> 00:13:28,000
...touch my drum set.

215
00:13:28,200 --> 00:13:30,100
- You understand?
- Don't go in there and...

216
00:13:30,200 --> 00:13:32,300
- No touching!
- All right!

217
00:13:32,500 --> 00:13:34,800
There. I was at about six there.

218
00:13:35,000 --> 00:13:36,900
You don't wanna see me go to 10.

219
00:13:37,100 --> 00:13:39,500
Get your shit.
We're going to my room.

220
00:13:47,600 --> 00:13:48,800
Honey?

221
00:13:50,200 --> 00:13:53,400
I just found a chain of islands
that we can sail to after New Zealand.

222
00:13:53,600 --> 00:13:55,000
That's wonderful.

223
00:13:56,200 --> 00:13:59,700
You know,
I've been meaning to ask you...

224
00:14:04,300 --> 00:14:08,200
Why is it that Dale never left?

225
00:14:09,900 --> 00:14:13,200
Well, Dale has always
coasted off my accomplishments.

226
00:14:13,400 --> 00:14:15,400
I mean, he left college
his junior year...

227
00:14:15,600 --> 00:14:18,200
...because he said he wanted
to join the family business.

228
00:14:18,500 --> 00:14:22,400
- But you're a medical doctor.
- Believe me, I've told him that.

229
00:14:22,600 --> 00:14:25,800
But he just always says,
"It's all about who you know."

230
00:14:26,000 --> 00:14:28,400
I don't know where
he got this sense of entitlement.

231
00:14:28,700 --> 00:14:31,800
Maybe it was his mother passing.
What about Brennan?

232
00:14:32,000 --> 00:14:33,500
From what you've told me...

233
00:14:33,600 --> 00:14:36,100
...his younger brother Derek's
been quite successful.

234
00:14:36,200 --> 00:14:39,600
Well, certainly when his father
and I split, that was difficult for him.

235
00:14:40,900 --> 00:14:45,300
And this one time, when Brennan
was 17 and Derek was 14...

236
00:14:45,500 --> 00:14:48,400
...and Brennan decided
to enter a talent show.

237
00:14:49,500 --> 00:14:53,400
<i>He sang a song
from an old pirate musical.</i>

238
00:14:53,600 --> 00:14:58,500
<i>But Derek got his football buddies
to replace the choir and sing:</i>

239
00:14:58,600 --> 00:15:00,500
"Brennan has a mangina."

240
00:15:00,700 --> 00:15:04,200
<i>Brennan has a mangina
Brennan has a mangina</i>

241
00:15:04,400 --> 00:15:10,900
<i>Finally, the audience and even some
of the nastier parents started singing:</i>

242
00:15:11,100 --> 00:15:12,700
"Brennan has a mangina."

243
00:15:13,700 --> 00:15:17,200
<i>And I have to admit, for a little while,
I sort of joined in as well.</i>

244
00:15:17,700 --> 00:15:21,500
<i>From that day on,
Brennan never sang again.</i>

245
00:15:21,600 --> 00:15:25,600
Derek went on to win the contest
by lip-synching "Ice Ice Baby."

246
00:15:30,400 --> 00:15:32,900
- Oh, that's a great song.
- It is.

247
00:15:34,300 --> 00:15:39,800
- Hey, you awake?
- Yeah.

248
00:15:42,600 --> 00:15:47,700
I just want you to know I hate you.
So does my dad.

249
00:15:49,000 --> 00:15:51,100
Well, that's fine.

250
00:15:52,400 --> 00:15:54,100
Because guess what.

251
00:15:54,300 --> 00:15:56,400
I hate you too.

252
00:15:56,600 --> 00:16:00,000
And this house sucks ass.

253
00:16:00,100 --> 00:16:02,200
Well, the only reason
you're living here...

254
00:16:02,400 --> 00:16:06,000
...is because me and my dad decided
that your mom was really hot...

255
00:16:06,200 --> 00:16:08,800
...and maybe we should just
both bang her.

256
00:16:08,900 --> 00:16:11,200
And we'll put up with the retard
in the meantime.

257
00:16:11,700 --> 00:16:14,200
- Who's the retard?
- You.

258
00:16:14,500 --> 00:16:17,100
- Hey, y'all don't say that.
- Shut up.

259
00:16:17,500 --> 00:16:19,400
You'll wake up my dad
and get me grounded.

260
00:16:20,000 --> 00:16:21,500
Just shut up.

261
00:16:21,700 --> 00:16:24,500
You and your mom are hillbillies.

262
00:16:24,700 --> 00:16:29,600
- This is a house of learned doctors.
- You're not a doctor.

263
00:16:29,900 --> 00:16:32,500
You're a big, fat, curly-headed fuck.

264
00:16:33,400 --> 00:16:35,900
- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.

265
00:16:36,100 --> 00:16:38,100
- I'm a curly-headed fuck?
- Yeah.

266
00:16:38,200 --> 00:16:39,900
You better not go to sleep.

267
00:16:40,700 --> 00:16:43,700
As soon as your eyes shut, I'm gonna
punch you square in the face.

268
00:16:43,900 --> 00:16:46,300
I hope you stay still
when you sleep...

269
00:16:46,500 --> 00:16:49,500
...because I'm putting a rat trap
between your legs.

270
00:16:49,700 --> 00:16:54,000
I'm gonna take a pillowcase
and fill it full of bars of soap...

271
00:16:54,100 --> 00:16:55,600
...and beat the shit out of you.

272
00:16:59,400 --> 00:17:01,900
I want you out of my fucking house.

273
00:17:02,100 --> 00:17:05,200
No way, kemosabe.

274
00:17:05,300 --> 00:17:07,900
This is my house now.

275
00:17:10,500 --> 00:17:12,600
How do you like <i>The Gilded Lady?</i>

276
00:17:12,800 --> 00:17:14,800
I wish we could retire right now.

277
00:17:15,000 --> 00:17:16,900
Won't be long.

278
00:17:27,500 --> 00:17:29,800
Oh, God! It's cold!

279
00:17:31,000 --> 00:17:33,700
Hey! Is anyone listening? Help!

280
00:18:20,100 --> 00:18:22,600
Fuck you, Dale! Fuck you!

281
00:18:22,700 --> 00:18:24,500
<i>- obviously you guys are hot.
You know?</i>

282
00:18:24,700 --> 00:18:27,700
<i>Just revealed her cover.
I was like, "Wow, this is hot."</i>

283
00:18:27,900 --> 00:18:30,900
<i>A little girl-on-girl.
A little heaven, a little hell.</i>

284
00:18:34,000 --> 00:18:36,100
- Hey.
- Hey.

285
00:18:38,400 --> 00:18:41,500
- Why you so sweaty?
- I was watching <i>Cops.</i>

286
00:18:42,000 --> 00:18:44,100
Not supposed to have
your feet on the couch.

287
00:19:08,100 --> 00:19:09,700
Hey, man.

288
00:19:10,500 --> 00:19:11,700
Did you touch my drum set?

289
00:19:13,200 --> 00:19:16,100
- Nope.
- It's just weird...

290
00:19:17,100 --> 00:19:20,800
...because seems like someone
definitely touched my drum set.

291
00:19:21,100 --> 00:19:24,000
Yeah, that is weird.
Because I didn't touch them.

292
00:19:24,500 --> 00:19:27,700
- Hey! Did you touch my drum set?
- Hey, knock it off!

293
00:19:27,800 --> 00:19:31,600
I know you touched my drumstick,
because the left one has a chip in it.

294
00:19:32,900 --> 00:19:34,300
You fucking crazy, man?

295
00:19:34,500 --> 00:19:38,400
You sound insane, do you realize
that? You should be medicated.

296
00:19:38,600 --> 00:19:41,000
Fuck you, Brennan.
I know you touched my drum set.

297
00:19:41,200 --> 00:19:43,000
I wanna hear that
dirty mouth admit it.

298
00:19:43,100 --> 00:19:46,000
You get out of my face,
or I'm gonna roundhouse your ass.

299
00:19:46,200 --> 00:19:48,700
You swear on your mom's life
that you didn't touch it!

300
00:19:48,800 --> 00:19:49,900
I don't swear to shit!

301
00:19:50,000 --> 00:19:52,300
That's because you fucking
touched my drum set...

302
00:19:52,500 --> 00:19:54,500
...because I know
<i>Cops</i> doesn't start till 4.

303
00:19:57,500 --> 00:20:00,700
- Where are you going?
- I'm going upstairs.

304
00:20:00,900 --> 00:20:04,600
Because I'm gonna put my nut sack
on your drum set. Okay?

305
00:20:04,800 --> 00:20:08,000
Don't you do that.
I am warning you right now:

306
00:20:08,200 --> 00:20:12,800
If you touch my drums, I will
stab you in the neck with a knife!

307
00:20:13,200 --> 00:20:17,300
If you even go in the room,
I will go ape-shit, you hear me?

308
00:20:17,500 --> 00:20:19,100
Don't wanna miss a spot.

309
00:20:19,500 --> 00:20:21,500
John Bonham's playing
"Moby Dick" for real!

310
00:20:21,700 --> 00:20:24,200
I swear to God. I swear to God! No!

311
00:20:33,600 --> 00:20:34,800
I warned you.

312
00:20:35,200 --> 00:20:38,300
There's one rule in the house,
and you broke it!

313
00:20:48,500 --> 00:20:50,100
I didn't touch your damn drum set!

314
00:20:53,900 --> 00:20:55,200
I'm pre-diabetic!

315
00:21:00,400 --> 00:21:04,100
You fucking fucker! I'm gonna
rub my balls on your mom's face!

316
00:21:06,100 --> 00:21:07,200
Come back here!

317
00:21:12,200 --> 00:21:15,700
I'll kill you! You son of a bitch!

318
00:21:16,400 --> 00:21:18,200
Your drum set's a whore!

319
00:21:18,400 --> 00:21:20,600
I teabagged your fucking drum set!

320
00:21:20,700 --> 00:21:24,300
Well, my drum set's a guy,
so that makes you gay, you fucker!

321
00:21:24,400 --> 00:21:26,900
I'll kill you!

322
00:21:27,700 --> 00:21:29,600
I think it's gonna go
generic soon, okay?

323
00:21:29,700 --> 00:21:32,000
- <i>Line three.</i>
- Oh, thanks, Miles.

324
00:21:32,100 --> 00:21:33,600
Yeah.

325
00:21:35,100 --> 00:21:37,700
Jules? Wait, what's wrong?

326
00:21:39,300 --> 00:21:43,900
- Back!
- You touched my drum set, you fucker!

327
00:21:44,900 --> 00:21:47,600
Stop it! Stop it!

328
00:21:47,800 --> 00:21:51,200
- Rape! Rape! Rape!
- Stop it! Stop! Stop.

329
00:21:51,400 --> 00:21:53,500
- Stay out of this, Nancy!
- Stop it, you guys.

330
00:21:54,300 --> 00:21:56,400
- Oh, my God, you're hurting him!
- No, Nancy!

331
00:21:57,100 --> 00:21:59,600
Cinnamon! Stop it!

332
00:22:00,300 --> 00:22:03,600
My mom is being eaten by a dog,
there's nothing I can do!

333
00:22:03,700 --> 00:22:05,300
- No, a story has a...
- Excuse me.

334
00:22:05,500 --> 00:22:07,900
Dr. Doback, the phone's for you.
I think it's urgent.

335
00:22:08,100 --> 00:22:09,100
Hello?

336
00:22:09,300 --> 00:22:11,600
<i>Robert, they're like animals!
I can't stop them!</i>

337
00:22:11,800 --> 00:22:14,300
Stop screaming. Please.
I'm on my way.

338
00:22:14,400 --> 00:22:16,600
There seems to be some
savage fight going on...

339
00:22:16,800 --> 00:22:19,000
...between my son and stepson,
so I...

340
00:22:20,500 --> 00:22:22,100
Family issues, huh?

341
00:22:22,300 --> 00:22:25,000
I don't believe in talking about
people's personal lives...

342
00:22:25,200 --> 00:22:26,500
...behind their back.

343
00:22:26,900 --> 00:22:28,800
You know nobody likes you, right?

344
00:22:28,900 --> 00:22:32,800
Rape! Rape! Rape!

345
00:22:36,700 --> 00:22:37,800
What's going on?

346
00:22:38,000 --> 00:22:40,200
Robert! They won't... They won't...

347
00:22:40,400 --> 00:22:42,400
- Stop it! Stop it!
- Dale, what...?

348
00:22:42,600 --> 00:22:44,500
- Stay out of it, Dad!
- Stop it!

349
00:22:52,900 --> 00:22:55,500
What the fucking fuck?

350
00:22:59,800 --> 00:23:01,800
Someone got some air. Snap.

351
00:23:02,500 --> 00:23:04,100
- I still hate you.
- Still hate you.

352
00:23:04,900 --> 00:23:06,400
Such power. It's raw power.

353
00:23:06,500 --> 00:23:08,300
What are you doing?
It's Shark Week.

354
00:23:08,500 --> 00:23:09,600
Okay, here's the deal:

355
00:23:09,800 --> 00:23:13,500
Number one, you will fix
the fucking drywall now.

356
00:23:13,700 --> 00:23:17,000
Number two, you have one month to
find jobs or you're out on your asses.

357
00:23:17,200 --> 00:23:19,900
I will arrange interviews for Monday,
and you will go!

358
00:23:20,000 --> 00:23:23,800
Dad, why are you talking
to me like this? I'm your son.

359
00:23:24,000 --> 00:23:25,500
I'm not buying that crap anymore.

360
00:23:25,900 --> 00:23:29,500
Today I saw my own son
use a bicycle as a weapon.

361
00:23:29,700 --> 00:23:32,500
You yelled "rape"
at the top of your lungs.

362
00:23:32,600 --> 00:23:37,000
Mom, I honestly thought
I was gonna be raped for a second.

363
00:23:37,100 --> 00:23:39,600
He had the craziest look in his eyes.

364
00:23:39,800 --> 00:23:42,300
And at one point he said,
"Let's get it on."

365
00:23:42,700 --> 00:23:45,500
That was about the fighting.
I'm so not a raper.

366
00:23:45,700 --> 00:23:47,500
I didn't touch your drum set, okay?

367
00:23:47,600 --> 00:23:52,800
I witnessed with my eyes
your testicles touching my drum set.

368
00:23:52,900 --> 00:23:55,500
All right, that's it! That's it!

369
00:23:55,700 --> 00:23:57,600
You two guys leave me no choice.

370
00:23:58,000 --> 00:23:59,500
No television for a week.

371
00:23:59,700 --> 00:24:00,700
- What?!
- What?!

372
00:24:00,900 --> 00:24:03,000
- We are so serious, guys.
- You're fucking high!

373
00:24:03,200 --> 00:24:04,400
Are you out of your mind?

374
00:24:04,600 --> 00:24:07,400
This goes in Robert's wall safe
and it's gonna stay there.

375
00:24:07,600 --> 00:24:09,400
- No!
- Okay.

376
00:24:09,600 --> 00:24:13,300
- This house is a fucking prison!
- On planet Bullshit!

377
00:24:13,400 --> 00:24:16,700
In the galaxy of
This Sucks Camel Dicks!

378
00:24:47,100 --> 00:24:50,300
Hi! Aunt Carol. Aunt Carol.

379
00:24:51,900 --> 00:24:55,600
- Hey.
- You can't catch me.

380
00:25:00,300 --> 00:25:01,700
I gotcha.

381
00:25:01,900 --> 00:25:03,400
I gotcha.

382
00:25:09,500 --> 00:25:11,000
Aunt Carol's on fire!

383
00:25:28,200 --> 00:25:29,800
I don't know where you learned it.

384
00:25:30,000 --> 00:25:32,700
- Well, there's lots more where that...
- My God.

385
00:25:32,900 --> 00:25:36,400
- Oh, no. What happened?
- What the...?

386
00:25:36,900 --> 00:25:38,400
Oh, my God.

387
00:25:39,200 --> 00:25:42,700
Maybe Dale left the back door open
and raccoons got in.

388
00:25:42,900 --> 00:25:45,300
Nancy? Is this your purse
in the freezer?

389
00:25:45,800 --> 00:25:48,300
Yes. It's Brennan.

390
00:25:48,400 --> 00:25:51,900
He sleepwalks and he always
puts my purse in the freezer.

391
00:25:52,100 --> 00:25:53,700
Dale sleepwalks too.

392
00:25:53,900 --> 00:25:56,400
- Are you kidding me?
- I'm not. Look in the oven.

393
00:25:57,800 --> 00:26:00,600
- What's in the...? Couch pillows?
- Couch pillows.

394
00:26:00,800 --> 00:26:02,300
Yeah, Dale.

395
00:26:04,100 --> 00:26:05,400
Come on.

396
00:26:05,900 --> 00:26:08,400
- It's okay.
- It's really hard.

397
00:26:08,600 --> 00:26:09,800
It's gonna be fine.

398
00:26:10,000 --> 00:26:13,500
They're gonna get jobs,
they'll be gone in a month. A month.

399
00:26:20,200 --> 00:26:21,200
Guys.

400
00:26:23,600 --> 00:26:26,400
- Guys. Guys!
- I'll kill you, Leonard Nimoy.

401
00:26:26,600 --> 00:26:28,600
The clown has no penis.

402
00:26:29,300 --> 00:26:31,300
What kind of dreams
are you guys having?

403
00:26:31,500 --> 00:26:33,100
Hey, it's 12:30.

404
00:26:33,300 --> 00:26:36,000
Brennan, your brother's
coming today, so get up.

405
00:26:36,200 --> 00:26:37,500
- Today?
- Yep.

406
00:26:37,700 --> 00:26:41,000
- Shit.
- What's your problem?

407
00:26:41,100 --> 00:26:43,900
My little brother's even
a bigger asshole than you are.

408
00:26:44,500 --> 00:26:47,000
All right, let's really nail it this time.
Here we go.

409
00:26:47,200 --> 00:26:51,600
A one, a two, a one, two, three, four.

410
00:27:11,000 --> 00:27:14,300
All right, Tommy, you're the oldest.
I'm counting on you. Come on.

411
00:27:26,300 --> 00:27:29,300
Nice vibrato, buddy.
All right, all right, Alice, let's go.

412
00:27:31,700 --> 00:27:33,900
Flat. It's so flat.

413
00:27:34,100 --> 00:27:37,000
I can't even... You don't even
look good while you're singing.

414
00:27:37,100 --> 00:27:38,900
The worst thing I've ever heard.

415
00:27:39,100 --> 00:27:42,200
This is $ 1200 a week for
voice lessons, and this is what I get?

416
00:27:42,400 --> 00:27:44,100
Okay, I'm gonna save it
with this solo.

417
00:27:45,700 --> 00:27:47,600
<i>I'm Derek</i>

418
00:27:47,800 --> 00:27:52,400
<i>And I can sing high like this</i>

419
00:27:53,200 --> 00:27:56,300
<i>And I can sing high</i>

420
00:27:59,300 --> 00:28:00,700
Jesus!

421
00:28:15,300 --> 00:28:18,500
We were so sad you guys
couldn't come to the wedding.

422
00:28:18,700 --> 00:28:20,400
- But we completely understand.
- Yeah.

423
00:28:20,500 --> 00:28:22,400
You were busy fishing
with Mark Cuban.

424
00:28:22,600 --> 00:28:24,600
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Well, not just the Cubes...

425
00:28:24,800 --> 00:28:28,200
...but we had Chris Daughtry,
Jeff Probst, super-chef Bobby Flay.

426
00:28:28,300 --> 00:28:30,400
It was insane.
I mean, it was almost too much.

427
00:28:30,600 --> 00:28:31,900
My God, that's impressive.

428
00:28:32,100 --> 00:28:34,400
Yeah, we were down in the Gulf,
fishing bonito.

429
00:28:34,600 --> 00:28:37,600
Robert, have you ever been down
to the Gulf on the bonito run?

430
00:28:37,700 --> 00:28:39,500
Always wanted to.
I hear it's amazing.

431
00:28:39,700 --> 00:28:42,200
- It is. It's gorgeous.
- Are bonito fish big?

432
00:28:43,700 --> 00:28:44,700
What?

433
00:28:44,900 --> 00:28:46,900
Don't interrupt
when he's telling a story.

434
00:28:47,000 --> 00:28:49,500
- It's fine, Robert.
- I was asking about the story.

435
00:28:49,700 --> 00:28:52,700
- What's this guy's deal?
- I don't know, son. It's okay.

436
00:28:52,900 --> 00:28:56,500
Well, Dale, they are
what's called a trophy fish.

437
00:28:56,600 --> 00:29:00,300
So, yeah, they're pretty big.

438
00:29:00,700 --> 00:29:02,000
I'm sorry.

439
00:29:04,300 --> 00:29:06,100
Anyway...

440
00:29:07,000 --> 00:29:09,500
Oh, God, I'm sorry,
I forget where my story was going.

441
00:29:09,600 --> 00:29:10,800
Damn it, Dale.

442
00:29:11,000 --> 00:29:12,200
- No...
- Robert.

443
00:29:12,400 --> 00:29:13,600
- What?
- What? I asked him.

444
00:29:13,800 --> 00:29:16,500
No, he can join in, Robert.
It's really okay.

445
00:29:16,600 --> 00:29:18,500
Well, I asked him twice
not to interrupt.

446
00:29:18,700 --> 00:29:22,500
Gang, don't be mad at Dale for ruining
the story. And possibly the evening.

447
00:29:22,600 --> 00:29:24,800
It's totally fine.
I have a lot more stories.

448
00:29:24,900 --> 00:29:28,200
- Derek, that you do. That you do.
- Yeah.

449
00:29:28,400 --> 00:29:32,000
- Guilty as charged with the stories.
- Oh, God, you're impressive.

450
00:29:32,900 --> 00:29:34,900
Come on. I love talking to you.

451
00:29:36,000 --> 00:29:38,800
From across the room,
I feel like we have a thing.

452
00:29:39,000 --> 00:29:43,100
You and me, man. You're my
new stepdad. You're unbelievable.

453
00:29:43,400 --> 00:29:47,400
- I never heard that laugh before.
- Dad, why are you acting so weird?

454
00:29:47,500 --> 00:29:50,000
Oh, hey, by the way, guys,
where's my bro, Brennan?

455
00:29:58,100 --> 00:30:02,600
You're right about your brother.
Total dick.

456
00:30:02,800 --> 00:30:04,300
Told you.

457
00:30:04,500 --> 00:30:06,100
You know what? I still hate you...

458
00:30:06,300 --> 00:30:08,900
...but you got a pretty awesome
collection of nudie mags.

459
00:30:09,100 --> 00:30:11,600
Yeah, I got them
from the '70s, '80s and '90s.

460
00:30:12,700 --> 00:30:15,100
It's like masturbating
in a time machine.

461
00:30:15,500 --> 00:30:19,300
Anyway, so I figure by the summer
of 2010, we can probably set sail.

462
00:30:19,500 --> 00:30:22,400
But I think about it
every day of my life.

463
00:30:22,500 --> 00:30:24,800
Let me ask you this, Bob,
why wait two years?

464
00:30:25,000 --> 00:30:27,100
- Well, I gotta make more money.
- Okay, look.

465
00:30:27,200 --> 00:30:28,500
I hear you, believe me.

466
00:30:28,600 --> 00:30:31,500
But what if I were to tell you
that I could sell this house...

467
00:30:31,700 --> 00:30:33,400
...for 30 percent above market?

468
00:30:33,600 --> 00:30:37,100
- That'd be great. Could you do it?
- Yeah. In a heartbeat, Robby.

469
00:30:37,200 --> 00:30:40,500
Look, I got my real-estate license
a few years back for shits and gigs.

470
00:30:40,700 --> 00:30:42,400
I'd do it for four-fifths commish...

471
00:30:42,600 --> 00:30:44,800
...because you know what really
gets my dick hard?

472
00:30:45,000 --> 00:30:46,300
Helping out my friends.

473
00:30:46,400 --> 00:30:49,300
That'd be fantastic.
That'd be fanta... Oh, my God.

474
00:30:49,400 --> 00:30:51,800
- No, it would be kick-ass, bro.
- Oh, man.

475
00:30:51,900 --> 00:30:53,600
Right there.

476
00:30:55,200 --> 00:30:56,700
What about Dale and Brennan?

477
00:30:56,800 --> 00:30:58,900
Because they haven't
even gotten jobs yet.

478
00:30:59,100 --> 00:31:01,500
God, change the record.

479
00:31:01,800 --> 00:31:03,500
Sweet!

480
00:31:05,000 --> 00:31:08,300
Robert. Don't talk to me like that
in front of my son.

481
00:31:08,400 --> 00:31:11,800
Oh, come on. We're talking about
our dream, the boat. Come on.

482
00:31:12,000 --> 00:31:15,800
Yeah, it's our dream, but I think it
all needs to be done in good time.

483
00:31:16,000 --> 00:31:19,500
I'm just saying give it some thought,
okay? That's it. That's all I'm saying.

484
00:31:19,700 --> 00:31:22,900
Holy shit, triplets.

485
00:31:23,600 --> 00:31:25,700
It's true, three's company.

486
00:31:25,900 --> 00:31:27,900
- It shows tons of bush.
- Hey, hey, careful.

487
00:31:28,100 --> 00:31:30,200
Careful with that. You're crinkling.

488
00:31:30,500 --> 00:31:33,400
That's a collector's item.
It's worth a lot of money.

489
00:31:33,800 --> 00:31:34,900
What's up, faggots?

490
00:31:35,000 --> 00:31:38,200
What's up, man? What, you're not
gonna come down, say hi to me?

491
00:31:38,400 --> 00:31:39,400
Hi, Derek.

492
00:31:39,600 --> 00:31:42,500
Whoa, calm down, man.
I'm just joking.

493
00:31:43,000 --> 00:31:45,600
You guys, I really like
your guys' setup up here.

494
00:31:45,800 --> 00:31:47,400
What is your problem, man?

495
00:31:47,700 --> 00:31:51,000
My problem? I don't know.
I don't have a problem, Dale.

496
00:31:51,200 --> 00:31:53,400
Actually, I have the opposite
of a problem:

497
00:31:53,600 --> 00:31:56,100
I made over 550 K last year.
How much did you make?

498
00:31:56,200 --> 00:31:58,700
- It's not about money.
- No, it's not about money.

499
00:31:58,900 --> 00:32:01,000
Well, for me,
it's a little bit about money...

500
00:32:01,200 --> 00:32:03,200
...and I made
that much money last year.

501
00:32:03,400 --> 00:32:04,900
I am the VP of the biggest...

502
00:32:05,000 --> 00:32:08,700
...executive-helicopter-leasing
company on the Western Seaboard.

503
00:32:08,900 --> 00:32:11,800
Okay? I haven't had a carb
since 2004.

504
00:32:12,800 --> 00:32:15,300
Check these out. See these?
See these boys?

505
00:32:15,500 --> 00:32:16,800
This is what I live with.

506
00:32:17,000 --> 00:32:19,500
Every day I lather this up
with Kiehl's in the shower.

507
00:32:19,700 --> 00:32:22,300
You wanna touch this shit?
You wanna touch these bad boys?

508
00:32:23,100 --> 00:32:24,700
Sorry, not gonna happen.

509
00:32:24,900 --> 00:32:26,300
Is there something you want?

510
00:32:26,400 --> 00:32:28,200
I promised Mom I'd offer you a job.

511
00:32:28,500 --> 00:32:31,300
I told her it'd count as her
Christmas present, so...

512
00:32:31,500 --> 00:32:33,300
No. I'm never gonna work for you.

513
00:32:33,500 --> 00:32:34,700
Fine. I don't care.

514
00:32:34,800 --> 00:32:38,300
The truth is I just smoked a J
out in my car a few minutes ago...

515
00:32:38,500 --> 00:32:40,400
...so feeling a little spacy.

516
00:32:40,600 --> 00:32:42,600
Know what I'm say...?
What's up with you, man?

517
00:32:43,300 --> 00:32:44,900
What you looking at, kemosabe?

518
00:32:45,100 --> 00:32:46,400
You...

519
00:32:46,800 --> 00:32:49,100
You wanna punch me right now.

520
00:32:49,600 --> 00:32:52,500
You wanna punch me right now,
but you won't.

521
00:32:53,300 --> 00:32:54,500
You wanna punch me too?

522
00:32:54,700 --> 00:32:57,500
You guys both look like you might
wanna hit me in the face.

523
00:32:57,700 --> 00:32:59,800
You do, I can tell.
Well, why don't you do it?

524
00:33:00,000 --> 00:33:01,600
Why don't you punch me
in the face?

525
00:33:01,700 --> 00:33:03,400
Punch me in the fucking face!

526
00:33:10,100 --> 00:33:12,700
- Oh, shit.
- Oh, my shoulder!

527
00:33:12,800 --> 00:33:14,100
That was awesome.

528
00:33:14,200 --> 00:33:16,200
Mom! Mom!

529
00:33:16,400 --> 00:33:18,800
Derek, know what's always good
for shoulder pain?

530
00:33:18,900 --> 00:33:21,200
- What?
- If you lick my butthole.

531
00:33:21,400 --> 00:33:23,200
Snap!

532
00:33:24,900 --> 00:33:26,500
- Thanks, Mom. Thanks, Bobby.
- Sure.

533
00:33:26,700 --> 00:33:30,000
Aside from that retard trying to punch
me, it was a pretty good evening.

534
00:33:30,200 --> 00:33:33,600
- It was our pleasure, son.
- Why are you calling him that?

535
00:33:33,800 --> 00:33:35,000
Oh, don't, don't.

536
00:33:35,200 --> 00:33:38,000
Bye, kids. I'll check out that stock
you recommended, Tommy.

537
00:33:38,100 --> 00:33:39,200
Excuse me.

538
00:33:39,300 --> 00:33:42,800
- Hi. I'm Alice, I'm Derek's wife.
- Hi.

539
00:33:43,000 --> 00:33:46,400
Is it true you struck Derek in the face
and he fell from the tree house?

540
00:33:46,600 --> 00:33:48,100
Yeah. He asked me to.

541
00:33:48,300 --> 00:33:50,600
Oh, that's the most amazing thing
I've ever heard.

542
00:33:50,700 --> 00:33:52,300
I want you to know that tonight...

543
00:33:52,500 --> 00:33:56,000
...I am gonna pleasure myself to
the image of you doing that to Derek.

544
00:33:56,200 --> 00:33:57,800
You know what I mean?

545
00:33:58,000 --> 00:33:59,600
Masturbate.

546
00:33:59,800 --> 00:34:01,400
I am.

547
00:34:01,600 --> 00:34:03,300
Oh, Dale.

548
00:34:03,500 --> 00:34:05,400
You are something.

549
00:34:06,000 --> 00:34:08,400
You are something.

550
00:34:09,700 --> 00:34:11,200
You're something too.

551
00:34:11,300 --> 00:34:14,900
I wanna roll you into a little ball
and shove you up my vagina.

552
00:34:15,700 --> 00:34:19,800
You could just live there.
It's warm and it's cozy.

553
00:34:19,900 --> 00:34:21,000
In your vagina?

554
00:34:21,200 --> 00:34:24,600
I wanna walk around with you
in there and just know that...

555
00:34:24,800 --> 00:34:27,300
...whenever I feel a little tickle
or scratch...

556
00:34:27,500 --> 00:34:30,800
...that it's just your hair
up my vagina.

557
00:34:31,000 --> 00:34:33,000
Please, just do it for me.

558
00:34:33,300 --> 00:34:34,700
What's happening?

559
00:34:36,900 --> 00:34:38,700
Kiss me.

560
00:34:42,100 --> 00:34:45,200
I know. I know. It's too much.

561
00:34:45,600 --> 00:34:47,800
It's too much.

562
00:34:50,900 --> 00:34:53,500
I hate my life, Dale.

563
00:34:53,900 --> 00:34:57,100
Dale, I hate my life!
I have nobody to talk to.

564
00:34:57,300 --> 00:34:59,300
- Well, you seemed okay at the Di...
- Please.

565
00:34:59,400 --> 00:35:01,300
Alice! Honey, come on!

566
00:35:01,600 --> 00:35:05,100
Dane Cook, pay-per-view,
20 minutes. Let's go!

567
00:35:05,300 --> 00:35:08,700
Coming, honey!
I'm just talking to Dale.

568
00:35:08,900 --> 00:35:11,400
This is so stupid.

569
00:35:12,500 --> 00:35:13,800
Call me.

570
00:35:14,000 --> 00:35:17,200
- I love you.
- Okay.

571
00:35:23,400 --> 00:35:25,800
- Hey. What'd she want?
- What?

572
00:35:26,300 --> 00:35:29,700
Nothing. Who's...? Who?

573
00:35:30,700 --> 00:35:31,800
Alice.

574
00:35:31,900 --> 00:35:36,000
We were just talking. Not...
It was not about sex or anything.

575
00:35:37,000 --> 00:35:39,300
I can't believe you hit Derek.

576
00:35:39,500 --> 00:35:42,100
I know. Did you see
the expression on his face?

577
00:35:42,300 --> 00:35:45,200
- That was cool.
- Listen.

578
00:35:45,600 --> 00:35:48,400
I know that we started out as foe.

579
00:35:48,800 --> 00:35:51,300
But after that courageous act...

580
00:35:51,500 --> 00:35:54,600
...that you showed me
against the one they call Derek...

581
00:35:55,100 --> 00:35:59,500
...maybe someday
we could become friends.

582
00:36:00,300 --> 00:36:04,000
Friends who ride majestic,
translucent steeds...

583
00:36:04,200 --> 00:36:07,300
...shooting flaming arrows
across the Bridge of Hemdale.

584
00:36:08,300 --> 00:36:11,500
I would follow you into the mists
of Avalon, if that's what you mean.

585
00:36:12,000 --> 00:36:15,000
Do you wanna see something cool
that only three people have seen?

586
00:36:19,500 --> 00:36:21,500
Okay, open your eyes.

587
00:36:23,100 --> 00:36:25,200
See that black smudge
right there on the blade?

588
00:36:25,400 --> 00:36:27,200
- Yeah.
- Look at it closely.

589
00:36:27,300 --> 00:36:29,800
- Pretty recognizable signature.
- No.

590
00:36:30,000 --> 00:36:32,400
Randy Jackson from <i>American Idol.</i>

591
00:36:32,600 --> 00:36:35,700
Why do you have Randy Jackson's
autograph on a martial-arts weapon?

592
00:36:35,900 --> 00:36:38,300
I bumped into him
and all I had was this sword...

593
00:36:38,500 --> 00:36:41,300
...and you're not gonna not get
Randy Jackson's autograph.

594
00:36:41,700 --> 00:36:43,800
I would've done
the exact same thing.

595
00:36:45,100 --> 00:36:48,000
Now, do you wanna see
something really cool?

596
00:36:48,100 --> 00:36:50,200
- Of course.
- Turn off the lights.

597
00:36:52,500 --> 00:36:56,100
Industrial-strength
night-vision goggles.

598
00:36:56,200 --> 00:36:57,900
Holy Santa Claus shit.

599
00:36:58,600 --> 00:37:01,100
Can you imagine if we had these
when we were 12?

600
00:37:01,300 --> 00:37:03,600
Even better.
We got them when we're 40.

601
00:37:04,000 --> 00:37:08,200
You know what's amazing? They're
not that noticeable on your face.

602
00:37:08,400 --> 00:37:10,100
- Right?
- Yeah.

603
00:37:11,600 --> 00:37:14,800
I can't believe I've been living here
for two weeks...

604
00:37:14,900 --> 00:37:16,800
...and I'm walking
around this place...

605
00:37:16,900 --> 00:37:19,500
...thinking I've got a huge doucher
for a stepbrother.

606
00:37:19,800 --> 00:37:22,000
Secretly, you're not a doucher.

607
00:37:22,600 --> 00:37:24,100
Let's play a game, all right?

608
00:37:24,400 --> 00:37:26,900
On the count of three,
name your favorite dinosaur.

609
00:37:27,100 --> 00:37:30,500
Don't even think about it, just name it.
Ready? One, two, three.

610
00:37:30,600 --> 00:37:32,100
<i>- Velociraptor.
- Velociraptor.</i>

611
00:37:32,700 --> 00:37:35,800
Favorite non-pornographic magazine
to masturbate to.

612
00:37:36,100 --> 00:37:38,300
<i>- Good Housekeeping.
- Good Housekeeping.</i>

613
00:37:38,700 --> 00:37:41,300
If you were a chick, who's
the one guy you'd sleep with?

614
00:37:41,600 --> 00:37:42,900
- John Stamos.
- John Stamos.

615
00:37:43,400 --> 00:37:45,300
- What?
- Did we just become best friends?

616
00:37:45,500 --> 00:37:46,900
Yep.

617
00:37:47,300 --> 00:37:49,200
Do you wanna go do karate
in the garage?

618
00:37:49,300 --> 00:37:50,800
Yup!

619
00:38:10,300 --> 00:38:11,900
- Yeah!
- Yeah!

620
00:38:16,900 --> 00:38:19,000
I think they're starting to
like each other.

621
00:38:19,500 --> 00:38:21,600
I got a really bad feeling about this.

622
00:38:23,300 --> 00:38:24,800
- Sword fight!
- I know.

623
00:38:25,200 --> 00:38:26,200
Sword fight!

624
00:38:30,300 --> 00:38:33,300
- Exactly the same!
- I know! That's so weird.

625
00:38:36,900 --> 00:38:38,100
Now you're in trouble.

626
00:38:40,200 --> 00:38:41,400
- Come on!
- No!

627
00:38:41,500 --> 00:38:43,800
They're betting against you,
but you can do it!

628
00:38:45,100 --> 00:38:46,500
- Yeah!
- Yeah!

629
00:38:48,200 --> 00:38:49,400
Is this a bad time?

630
00:38:49,500 --> 00:38:50,900
What the hell's going on?

631
00:38:51,100 --> 00:38:54,000
Ma, Mr. Doback, okay,
Dale and I were just...

632
00:38:54,200 --> 00:38:56,000
Please, stop calling me Mr. Doback.

633
00:38:56,100 --> 00:38:57,500
Sorry. Okay.

634
00:38:57,700 --> 00:39:00,300
Mom, Doback...

635
00:39:00,900 --> 00:39:03,200
...we think it would be very prudent...

636
00:39:03,400 --> 00:39:05,800
- Can we turn our beds into bunk beds?
- Yes.

637
00:39:06,400 --> 00:39:07,800
Why are you guys so sweaty?

638
00:39:08,000 --> 00:39:10,900
We've already figured out how.
The beds match up perfectly.

639
00:39:11,100 --> 00:39:14,300
It would give us so much extra space
in our room to do activities.

640
00:39:14,500 --> 00:39:15,500
Please say yes.

641
00:39:15,700 --> 00:39:18,000
You don't need our permission
to build bunk beds.

642
00:39:18,100 --> 00:39:20,400
You're adults.
You can do what you want.

643
00:39:20,500 --> 00:39:22,600
So...?

644
00:39:23,800 --> 00:39:26,100
I'm not making myself clear.

645
00:39:26,200 --> 00:39:28,800
I don't give a fuck.

646
00:39:29,100 --> 00:39:31,300
Now, you both have
several interviews tomorrow.

647
00:39:31,500 --> 00:39:35,000
I would think you'd be focused
on that and not building bunk beds.

648
00:39:37,200 --> 00:39:39,800
- So...?
- So...?

649
00:39:40,000 --> 00:39:44,200
- We can? No?
- Yes. Yes, you can make bunk beds.

650
00:39:44,400 --> 00:39:46,600
- I knew it.
- Okay. You are not gonna regret this.

651
00:39:46,800 --> 00:39:48,600
We'll get so much more
activities done.

652
00:39:48,800 --> 00:39:51,700
This is the funnest night ever!

653
00:39:52,900 --> 00:39:55,200
This is so scary.

654
00:39:57,100 --> 00:39:59,800
- How you doing over there?
- Really good.

655
00:40:00,200 --> 00:40:01,200
Okay.

656
00:40:01,400 --> 00:40:03,400
Does your son know anything
about carpentry?

657
00:40:03,600 --> 00:40:06,200
No, not a Th... Did I hear a drill?

658
00:40:06,800 --> 00:40:09,000
- Dale! Dale, no power tools!
- Power tools.

659
00:40:09,700 --> 00:40:11,300
- What?
- No power tools!

660
00:40:11,500 --> 00:40:15,200
- No, I forgot, I have to brush my teeth.
- That is not your toothbrush.

661
00:40:15,500 --> 00:40:17,900
Oh, okay. Well, I'm all done anyway.

662
00:40:18,000 --> 00:40:19,400
- We did it.
- We did it!

663
00:40:19,500 --> 00:40:20,600
It looks amazing!

664
00:40:20,800 --> 00:40:23,900
Look at that! That looks like
what you'd buy from a store!

665
00:40:24,000 --> 00:40:26,700
- Should've been a bunk bed all along.
- Look at this space.

666
00:40:26,900 --> 00:40:29,800
- We could do aerobics in here.
- So many activities!

667
00:40:30,000 --> 00:40:32,000
- Do step class.
- It's making my head spin...

668
00:40:32,100 --> 00:40:34,400
...how many activities we can do.
- Play Army men.

669
00:40:34,600 --> 00:40:35,900
- Yeah.
- Come on.

670
00:40:40,900 --> 00:40:43,300
Hey, I never asked you.
Do you like guacamole?

671
00:40:45,400 --> 00:40:47,800
Oh, Brennan! Oh, God!

672
00:40:47,900 --> 00:40:50,100
Brennan! Brennan!

673
00:40:50,700 --> 00:40:52,800
Dad. Nancy. It's bad.

674
00:40:53,000 --> 00:40:55,100
It's so bad.
There's blood everywhere.

675
00:40:55,300 --> 00:40:58,900
The bunk beds were a terrible idea.
Why'd you let us do that?

676
00:40:59,100 --> 00:41:00,300
It's so bad!

677
00:41:00,500 --> 00:41:01,800
How would you describe that?

678
00:41:04,700 --> 00:41:07,500
- It's not so bad.
- Right. See?

679
00:41:09,300 --> 00:41:10,400
Put your beds back.

680
00:41:10,500 --> 00:41:12,700
Rumpus time is over.

681
00:41:12,900 --> 00:41:15,900
You got a big day tomorrow.
You need your eight hours.

682
00:41:19,000 --> 00:41:19,100
<i>And although she was 88 years old,
she never stopped believing.</i>

683
00:41:19,101 --> 00:41:22,700
<i>And although she was 88 years old,
she never stopped believing.</i>

684
00:41:22,900 --> 00:41:24,600
<i>It's 8:20 in the a.m.</i>

685
00:41:24,800 --> 00:41:27,600
<i>Coming up next, a recent study
by the American Council...</i>

686
00:41:27,800 --> 00:41:29,800
Look at her. She's hot.

687
00:41:30,200 --> 00:41:34,200
Okay, guys, this is it.
Good luck. Don't be late.

688
00:41:34,400 --> 00:41:37,000
Dad, I need to borrow
some clothes for the interview...

689
00:41:37,200 --> 00:41:39,000
...since I don't have
any fancy clothes.

690
00:41:39,200 --> 00:41:42,400
You go in my closet, take whatever
you need. You guys gotta look sharp.

691
00:41:42,600 --> 00:41:44,600
This is the most important
day of our lives.

692
00:41:44,800 --> 00:41:46,300
- Okay.
- No pressure, no pressure.

693
00:41:46,400 --> 00:41:47,600
- All right? Relax.
- Okay.

694
00:41:47,800 --> 00:41:48,900
I gotta go. I gotta go.

695
00:41:49,100 --> 00:41:51,000
This is your day.
Remember that. You own it.

696
00:41:51,200 --> 00:41:53,100
- This is your one day!
- All right.

697
00:41:54,600 --> 00:41:57,400
Mr. Huff, Mr. Jeener
is ready for your interview.

698
00:41:57,500 --> 00:41:59,700
Actually, we'll be
interviewing as a team.

699
00:41:59,900 --> 00:42:02,100
We're here to fuck shit up.

700
00:42:06,700 --> 00:42:08,400
Move it!

701
00:42:16,900 --> 00:42:18,200
Hey!

702
00:42:18,400 --> 00:42:20,900
Well, Brennan, you certainly
have had a lot of jobs.

703
00:42:21,100 --> 00:42:22,500
I'm a bit of a spark plug.

704
00:42:22,600 --> 00:42:25,100
And, Human Resources lady,
when I think...

705
00:42:25,300 --> 00:42:28,200
- You know, it's... Actually, it's Pam.
- I'm sorry.

706
00:42:28,400 --> 00:42:31,300
- Well, Pan...
- No, my name is Pam.

707
00:42:31,500 --> 00:42:35,600
- Are you saying Pan or Pam?
- I'm saying Pam.

708
00:42:36,100 --> 00:42:39,100
Yeah, I'm sorry, who is this
gentleman sitting behind you?

709
00:42:39,200 --> 00:42:42,200
Hello, Ms. Lady. I'm Dale.
I'm Brennan's stepbrother...

710
00:42:42,300 --> 00:42:45,800
...and I think I might be able to help
with the Pan-Pam dilemma.

711
00:42:46,000 --> 00:42:47,900
- Yeah, that'd be great.
- Pam.

712
00:42:48,100 --> 00:42:49,700
- Pan.
- Pam.

713
00:42:49,900 --> 00:42:51,900
- Pand. There's a D on the end.
- With an M.

714
00:42:52,100 --> 00:42:57,600
- There's no D. It's Pam.
- It's like "comb," except P-A-N-M.

715
00:42:57,800 --> 00:43:00,500
- N-N. There's two N's.
- Two M's. That was the confusion.

716
00:43:00,600 --> 00:43:02,000
No, there's just one M.

717
00:43:02,100 --> 00:43:04,200
What do you say we interview you?

718
00:43:04,600 --> 00:43:07,500
All right. Yes, that's a
sometimes-useful exercise.

719
00:43:07,700 --> 00:43:09,100
Please put your hand down.

720
00:43:09,400 --> 00:43:10,400
Go ahead.

721
00:43:10,600 --> 00:43:13,900
How much money do you make
a year before taxes?

722
00:43:14,500 --> 00:43:16,800
Okay, I'm actually not comfortable
answering that.

723
00:43:17,000 --> 00:43:19,600
- Come on!
- We're doing the interview, not you.

724
00:43:19,700 --> 00:43:23,500
Here's a shot out of a cannon:
Oprah, Barbara Walters, your wife.

725
00:43:23,700 --> 00:43:25,900
You gotta fuck one,
marry one, kill one. Go!

726
00:43:26,100 --> 00:43:27,700
I think we're done here. Thank you.

727
00:43:27,900 --> 00:43:31,700
Mr. Huff, under your references,
you listed Dale Doback...

728
00:43:31,900 --> 00:43:34,200
...which I know is this gentleman,
but you also listed...

729
00:43:34,400 --> 00:43:36,400
..."Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior."
- Yeah.

730
00:43:36,600 --> 00:43:39,200
Yeah, we are looking for people
we can contact.

731
00:43:39,400 --> 00:43:41,500
We wanna tell you the stuff
we're not good at.

732
00:43:41,700 --> 00:43:44,300
- Our weaknesses.
- So we're clear up front.

733
00:43:44,500 --> 00:43:47,500
- Okay.
- We're not generally comfortable...

734
00:43:47,600 --> 00:43:50,700
...in an office setting, I would say.
- I get cooped up.

735
00:43:50,900 --> 00:43:53,900
I won't go into an office
that's ever been used before.

736
00:43:54,000 --> 00:43:56,600
I am no good before 11 a.m.

737
00:43:56,800 --> 00:44:00,000
I also get headaches from computers,
so I can't be around them too long.

738
00:44:00,200 --> 00:44:01,600
I take stuff.

739
00:44:01,800 --> 00:44:04,100
I need someone to go up and down
with me in the elevator.

740
00:44:04,300 --> 00:44:07,200
I have a weakness for sweets.

741
00:44:07,400 --> 00:44:08,400
Other weaknesses?

742
00:44:08,600 --> 00:44:11,800
We're slow learners and we're
not particularly good listeners.

743
00:44:11,900 --> 00:44:15,700
- That'll be a huge problem.
- We're also slow learners.

744
00:44:15,800 --> 00:44:17,700
First of all,
I needed someone to work...

745
00:44:17,900 --> 00:44:19,600
Wait, shut your mouth.
Shut your mouth.

746
00:44:19,800 --> 00:44:21,100
I think we've had enough...

747
00:44:21,300 --> 00:44:23,300
- Shush up for one second.
- Shut your mouth.

748
00:44:23,700 --> 00:44:26,400
- Wait, shut your mouth.
- I'm sorry, what did you just say?

749
00:44:26,600 --> 00:44:29,100
- You're just coming off stupid.
- I'm coming off stupid?

750
00:44:29,300 --> 00:44:33,000
You're wearing tuxedos to a job that
requires you to clean bathrooms.

751
00:44:33,200 --> 00:44:36,900
- Please leave this office, we're done.
- Do we get any sort of souvenir?

752
00:44:37,100 --> 00:44:38,700
Get out of my office!

753
00:44:38,900 --> 00:44:42,600
I'm looking to hire guys I don't mind
hanging out with for 12 hours a day.

754
00:44:42,800 --> 00:44:44,300
You guys seem like cool guys.

755
00:44:44,400 --> 00:44:47,400
Got hair similar to mine,
you wear tuxedos to the interview.

756
00:44:47,600 --> 00:44:49,400
That's funny, it's ironic. I get that.

757
00:44:49,600 --> 00:44:53,200
Underplaying the whole formality of it.
I think that's funny as hell.

758
00:44:53,400 --> 00:44:56,300
So let's do this, you know?
You guys are hired. You're in.

759
00:44:56,400 --> 00:44:59,100
Unless you're the weirdest guys ever
and I don't see it.

760
00:44:59,300 --> 00:45:00,800
Great.

761
00:45:18,100 --> 00:45:20,800
- Was that a fart?
- I don't know.

762
00:45:21,000 --> 00:45:22,900
I can taste it.

763
00:45:23,100 --> 00:45:24,200
On my tongue.

764
00:45:24,300 --> 00:45:26,800
Okay, I'll be honest with you.
I did fart.

765
00:45:27,100 --> 00:45:30,000
Is that onion? Onion and...
Onion and ketchup.

766
00:45:30,100 --> 00:45:33,900
- It stinks. And this is a small room.
- Shit.

767
00:45:34,100 --> 00:45:36,500
Okay, now the tuxedos
seem kind of fucked up.

768
00:45:37,800 --> 00:45:41,400
God. We were so close.

769
00:45:41,800 --> 00:45:44,900
So, what do we do for jobs?
Is your dad really gonna kick us out?

770
00:45:45,100 --> 00:45:49,200
Listen, don't worry about my dad.

771
00:45:49,500 --> 00:45:52,000
Got him sewn up.

772
00:45:52,500 --> 00:45:55,400
We've gotta start thinking bigger,
though, Brennan.

773
00:45:56,200 --> 00:45:58,600
Listen, what are you really good at?

774
00:45:58,800 --> 00:46:01,500
Singing. I'm a world-class singer.

775
00:46:01,600 --> 00:46:04,400
See? Right there,
that's an amazing skill.

776
00:46:04,500 --> 00:46:06,000
Now, what am I good at?

777
00:46:06,100 --> 00:46:09,000
I can shred on the drums
and I'm a marketing wiz.

778
00:46:09,100 --> 00:46:11,000
Put all that together,
what do you get?

779
00:46:12,500 --> 00:46:15,500
- I don't know, a band?
- No, that's been done before.

780
00:46:15,700 --> 00:46:20,800
Even better: we are gonna start an
international entertainment company.

781
00:46:21,000 --> 00:46:23,200
The biggest and the best.

782
00:46:23,700 --> 00:46:26,700
And we're gonna call it
Prestige Worldwide.

783
00:46:27,200 --> 00:46:28,700
That sounds so cool.

784
00:46:29,000 --> 00:46:33,100
I feel like a lightning bolt
hit the tip of my penis.

785
00:46:33,300 --> 00:46:35,700
Yeah. Yeah.

786
00:46:36,100 --> 00:46:38,900
We're brothers. This is why we met.

787
00:46:39,000 --> 00:46:41,000
- To form this alliance, right?
- Right?

788
00:46:41,200 --> 00:46:43,700
That's why our parents met,
so this idea could happen.

789
00:46:43,900 --> 00:46:46,700
- Okay, what do we do?
- We get to work.

790
00:46:46,900 --> 00:46:50,200
And we hit the beat laboratory
right now. Let's go.

791
00:46:50,400 --> 00:46:51,900
- What?
- Wait.

792
00:46:52,100 --> 00:46:53,600
What time is it?

793
00:46:53,800 --> 00:46:55,200
- 4:30.
- 4:30.

794
00:46:55,400 --> 00:46:57,300
4:32.

795
00:46:59,600 --> 00:47:03,300
- I can't go down Whitworth right now.
- Okay.

796
00:47:04,000 --> 00:47:05,400
We should go this way.

797
00:47:06,700 --> 00:47:08,700
- What's up?
- Chris Gardocki.

798
00:47:08,800 --> 00:47:10,100
- What?
- He gets in my face...

799
00:47:10,300 --> 00:47:12,600
...and I just don't wanna
deal with the hassle now.

800
00:47:12,800 --> 00:47:15,600
- Are you this scared?
- Can we please go the long way?

801
00:47:17,300 --> 00:47:18,900
- Down Cutler?
- Yeah.

802
00:47:19,100 --> 00:47:20,800
But that's 45 minutes.

803
00:47:21,000 --> 00:47:22,700
You're gonna shame me
into doing this.

804
00:47:22,900 --> 00:47:25,400
- You sound stupid.
- You'll be sorry. Okay, I'm stupid.

805
00:47:25,600 --> 00:47:27,700
Oh, man.

806
00:47:28,400 --> 00:47:31,100
Oh, God, there they are.

807
00:47:32,500 --> 00:47:34,600
Oh, my God, is that Dale Doback?

808
00:47:34,700 --> 00:47:37,300
- Let's make him lick dog shit.
- Yeah.

809
00:47:39,000 --> 00:47:42,300
Hey, fag-stick. Long time, no see.

810
00:47:42,500 --> 00:47:45,100
Is that your boyfriend?
Is that your butt buddy?

811
00:47:45,400 --> 00:47:47,700
Look, Mr. Gardocki,
just leave me alone, will you?

812
00:47:47,800 --> 00:47:49,600
Shut your mouth, <i>esé.</i>

813
00:47:49,800 --> 00:47:53,000
You guys just go back and have fun
on your jungle gym, okay?

814
00:47:53,200 --> 00:47:55,300
Does butt buddy have a name?

815
00:47:55,500 --> 00:47:59,400
If you're referring to me as
butt buddy, yes, I do have a name.

816
00:47:59,600 --> 00:48:00,900
It's Brennan Huff.

817
00:48:01,100 --> 00:48:04,300
If you don't come over here
and lick that white dog shit...

818
00:48:04,400 --> 00:48:06,700
...I'm gonna plow into your nose
with my fist.

819
00:48:06,800 --> 00:48:10,700
- I'm not licking any white dog shit.
- I'll lick the shit if you leave us alone.

820
00:48:10,900 --> 00:48:14,000
Dale, you're not licking
dog shit, okay? They're kids.

821
00:48:14,200 --> 00:48:16,500
- Brennan, it's just dog shit.
- It's ridiculous!

822
00:48:16,600 --> 00:48:20,600
- Hello, how are...?
- Oh, God!

823
00:48:20,900 --> 00:48:23,500
Leave him alone! Leave him alone!

824
00:48:25,200 --> 00:48:26,700
Get them!

825
00:48:38,800 --> 00:48:42,000
So maybe you don't
go down that way anymore.

826
00:48:42,200 --> 00:48:44,100
Maybe you go the long way home.

827
00:48:44,200 --> 00:48:47,100
That's what we talked about.
We'll take the long way home.

828
00:48:47,300 --> 00:48:50,100
You know in that one scene
in <i>The Wizard of Oz...</i>

829
00:48:50,200 --> 00:48:53,100
...when the flying monkeys
pull apart the Scarecrow?

830
00:48:53,200 --> 00:48:55,300
That's what it was like.

831
00:48:55,400 --> 00:48:57,900
- It's okay, it's okay.
- I'm so sorry.

832
00:48:58,100 --> 00:49:00,700
Is my dad mad about
the stuff that happened?

833
00:49:00,900 --> 00:49:03,500
Robert was very upset, yes.

834
00:49:03,700 --> 00:49:06,400
He knows that you interviewed
as a team.

835
00:49:06,600 --> 00:49:08,100
And he heard about the fart.

836
00:49:08,300 --> 00:49:10,200
- Oh, he did?
- Yeah.

837
00:49:10,400 --> 00:49:12,100
You just couldn't hold it, or you...?

838
00:49:12,300 --> 00:49:15,200
- No. I thought it was gonna be silent.
- It was not silent.

839
00:49:15,400 --> 00:49:18,000
Just kept going, and it made a sound.
It was embarrassing.

840
00:49:18,200 --> 00:49:19,200
It got louder.

841
00:49:19,400 --> 00:49:22,300
So listen, Bobby,
I'll get those keys made tomorrow...

842
00:49:22,400 --> 00:49:25,900
...and then we'll start setting up times.
- Thank you.

843
00:49:27,200 --> 00:49:28,600
- Hi, Mom.
- Hi.

844
00:49:28,800 --> 00:49:30,000
- Okay, bye.
- Bye.

845
00:49:30,200 --> 00:49:32,400
- Always nice to see you.
- You too.

846
00:49:42,000 --> 00:49:43,100
Hey, guys.

847
00:49:43,300 --> 00:49:45,400
Looks like your
free ride's over, huh?

848
00:49:45,600 --> 00:49:47,400
Have fun living on the streets.

849
00:49:48,000 --> 00:49:50,500
Okay, cool. Good chatting, you guys.
Bye, Mom.

850
00:49:50,600 --> 00:49:51,900
- Bye.
- See you, buddy.

851
00:49:55,900 --> 00:49:57,300
What was he doing here?

852
00:49:57,600 --> 00:49:59,300
We're putting the house
on the market.

853
00:49:59,600 --> 00:50:03,000
- Where are we moving?
- Is the house haunted?

854
00:50:03,300 --> 00:50:05,900
Nancy and I are retiring...

855
00:50:06,100 --> 00:50:08,800
...and sailing around the world
on my boat.

856
00:50:09,000 --> 00:50:11,300
We are living the dream.

857
00:50:11,500 --> 00:50:12,800
Well, what about us?

858
00:50:14,800 --> 00:50:19,200
I'm sorry. Robert... We thought that...

859
00:50:19,300 --> 00:50:23,100
...you should take responsibility
for your own lives.

860
00:50:23,300 --> 00:50:24,500
This is the exciting part:

861
00:50:24,700 --> 00:50:27,000
We're going to put enough
money in your accounts...

862
00:50:27,200 --> 00:50:29,100
...for a security deposit
on an apartment.

863
00:50:29,300 --> 00:50:30,600
What's this all about?

864
00:50:30,800 --> 00:50:35,200
More than just money, we're gonna get
you another kind of support as well.

865
00:50:35,400 --> 00:50:38,200
You're both gonna see therapists.
Nancy thinks it'll help.

866
00:50:38,400 --> 00:50:42,200
- Guys, that's nonnegotiable.
- Hold on. We're not going on the boat...

867
00:50:42,600 --> 00:50:45,700
...Derek's selling the house,
we have to go to therapy?

868
00:50:46,900 --> 00:50:48,800
- What the fuck happened?
- Hey!

869
00:50:49,000 --> 00:50:52,100
Look, I know this seems
really, really sudden...

870
00:50:52,300 --> 00:50:54,600
...and just sort of unfair
and cruel and...

871
00:50:54,800 --> 00:50:57,900
- But it's nonnegotiable.
- But it's nonnegotiable.

872
00:50:58,000 --> 00:51:00,500
I got a bellyful
of white dog crap in me...

873
00:51:00,600 --> 00:51:02,500
...and now you lay this shit on me?

874
00:51:02,700 --> 00:51:05,700
You're adults. It's time
you started acting like adults.

875
00:51:05,900 --> 00:51:08,900
- Mom.
- I'm not backing down, Brennan.

876
00:51:09,100 --> 00:51:10,500
Don't even try.

877
00:51:10,600 --> 00:51:13,700
I know it seems hard,
but it's the best thing for both of you.

878
00:51:13,900 --> 00:51:15,500
We do it because we love you.

879
00:51:15,700 --> 00:51:19,400
Dad, I'm doing this because
I love you: fuck you.

880
00:51:19,600 --> 00:51:21,500
- Anything else?
- No.

881
00:51:21,700 --> 00:51:24,100
Bon voyage! Have a great time!

882
00:51:25,100 --> 00:51:27,100
Hey, what's up, Derek?

883
00:51:27,200 --> 00:51:28,300
Yeah.

884
00:51:28,400 --> 00:51:29,700
- Know what?
- Look what I got.

885
00:51:29,900 --> 00:51:33,200
I'm sitting here thinking we finally got
a family together here...

886
00:51:33,300 --> 00:51:36,800
...and now it's about to be taken away
because they think we're losers.

887
00:51:37,700 --> 00:51:41,200
- Because they don't understand us?
- Yeah.

888
00:51:41,400 --> 00:51:44,900
They don't get that this lifestyle
is a choice.

889
00:51:45,000 --> 00:51:48,200
And all they think about
is that stupid boat.

890
00:51:48,500 --> 00:51:51,700
I swear, I'm so pissed off
at my mom.

891
00:51:51,900 --> 00:51:55,400
As soon as she is of age,
I'm putting her in a home.

892
00:51:55,700 --> 00:51:58,300
We have got to get
Prestige Worldwide going.

893
00:51:58,500 --> 00:52:00,500
It's the thing that's
gonna save this family.

894
00:52:00,700 --> 00:52:03,500
I was thinking we should
have a investor presentation...

895
00:52:03,700 --> 00:52:04,900
...like on <i>The Apprentice.</i>

896
00:52:05,100 --> 00:52:07,300
We gotta start
with some capital somewhere.

897
00:52:07,400 --> 00:52:09,300
Here's the thing, though:

898
00:52:09,500 --> 00:52:12,700
If we're gonna start
a huge multinational corporation...

899
00:52:12,900 --> 00:52:14,400
...I have to hear you sing.

900
00:52:14,600 --> 00:52:17,300
Can't you just trust that
I'm a really, really good singer?

901
00:52:17,700 --> 00:52:21,100
Just one song, so I know
what your voice sounds like.

902
00:52:21,400 --> 00:52:23,400
Yeah, yeah. I'll just do it.

903
00:52:23,500 --> 00:52:27,700
No big deal. I'll just dive into it
and just start singing.

904
00:52:31,400 --> 00:52:34,800
Jesus, my heart is beating
so fast right now.

905
00:52:35,600 --> 00:52:37,700
Okay, just do it. Just do it.

906
00:52:37,900 --> 00:52:38,900
Just...

907
00:53:28,400 --> 00:53:29,500
You know, I don't know.

908
00:53:29,700 --> 00:53:32,900
I didn't sing too loud, because I don't
wanna wake up Robert and Nancy.

909
00:53:33,100 --> 00:53:36,500
My throat's sore. I've had
a sore throat for a month and a half.

910
00:53:36,800 --> 00:53:39,500
And this is not an acoustic
environment that's suitable...

911
00:53:39,700 --> 00:53:41,800
...to request this from me.

912
00:53:41,900 --> 00:53:45,200
You gotta know,
I'm not just some guy.

913
00:53:45,400 --> 00:53:48,900
Brennan, that is
the voice of an angel.

914
00:53:50,500 --> 00:53:53,300
Brennan, I can't even make
eye contact with you right now.

915
00:53:53,400 --> 00:53:56,200
Your voice is like a combination
of Fergie and Jesus.

916
00:53:56,400 --> 00:53:58,200
Why can't you do that
in front of people?

917
00:53:58,400 --> 00:54:00,200
Are you messing with me right now?

918
00:54:00,700 --> 00:54:03,300
It's me, Dale.

919
00:54:04,600 --> 00:54:05,600
You're good.

920
00:54:06,300 --> 00:54:08,700
- I know.
- This is gonna sound weird...

921
00:54:08,900 --> 00:54:14,000
...but for a second, I think
you took on the shape of a unicorn.

922
00:54:14,100 --> 00:54:18,000
I felt like I was hovering
above my own body...

923
00:54:18,100 --> 00:54:19,700
...watching myself sing.

924
00:54:19,900 --> 00:54:21,700
Now, let's move on
to other business.

925
00:54:21,800 --> 00:54:25,300
First thing tomorrow, we gotta get
cracking on this investor presentation.

926
00:54:25,500 --> 00:54:28,400
And guess what else.
This just came to me.

927
00:54:28,600 --> 00:54:32,000
- We're making a music video.
- Yeah!

928
00:54:33,200 --> 00:54:35,000
What do we do about Derek
and the house?

929
00:54:36,900 --> 00:54:38,800
Don't worry about him.

930
00:54:49,600 --> 00:54:50,800
Oh, it's a great "nabe."

931
00:54:51,000 --> 00:54:52,900
Frank Gifford
used to live down the block.

932
00:54:53,000 --> 00:54:56,200
- The Giff?
- Yeah, the Giff. Right down the block.

933
00:54:56,300 --> 00:54:58,900
I'm getting
a really good feeling about this.

934
00:54:59,100 --> 00:55:00,100
I am so glad.

935
00:55:00,300 --> 00:55:02,900
You get us that 10-year
interest-only loan, we got a deal.

936
00:55:03,100 --> 00:55:06,100
Hey, fuckers!
Welcome to the neighborhood!

937
00:55:06,300 --> 00:55:10,100
- My name is Craig.
- The neighbor is a Nazi?

938
00:55:10,300 --> 00:55:14,100
You guys ever need fertilizer,
I've got a lot of it. Close to 80 tons.

939
00:55:14,300 --> 00:55:18,200
Hey, folks! How you doing?
You're gonna love this neighborhood.

940
00:55:18,400 --> 00:55:20,000
Every single house here recycles.

941
00:55:20,200 --> 00:55:22,100
- Okay, we're done here.
- Yeah, okay.

942
00:55:22,300 --> 00:55:25,300
Hey, Derek, <i>sprechen sie</i> dick.

943
00:55:25,600 --> 00:55:28,000
Dale, I don't know how much
you know about therapy...

944
00:55:28,200 --> 00:55:31,400
...but it usually starts by you
telling me something about yourself.

945
00:55:31,900 --> 00:55:34,000
I work at a college as a janitor...

946
00:55:34,200 --> 00:55:36,800
...even though I'm smarter
than most of the people there.

947
00:55:37,000 --> 00:55:39,900
Sometimes I see an equation
written on a blackboard...

948
00:55:40,100 --> 00:55:43,000
...like half an equation,
and I'll just figure it out.

949
00:55:43,200 --> 00:55:45,600
- Is this <i>Good Will Hunting?</i>
- No.

950
00:55:45,900 --> 00:55:48,700
It sounds a lot like the plot
of <i>Good Will Hunting.</i>

951
00:55:48,900 --> 00:55:52,600
Yeah. Anyway.
My best friend is Ben Affleck...

952
00:55:52,800 --> 00:55:55,900
So I thought we'd begin
talking about your parents' divorce.

953
00:55:56,200 --> 00:55:57,200
Okay.

954
00:55:57,400 --> 00:55:59,400
How old were you
when they got divorced?

955
00:55:59,600 --> 00:56:01,700
- Fifteen.
- That's a hard age.

956
00:56:02,000 --> 00:56:04,800
- Yes. Yeah.
- Do you wanna talk...

957
00:56:05,000 --> 00:56:07,100
...about some of those feelings?
- I love you.

958
00:56:07,300 --> 00:56:10,700
- Obviously, you don't know me.
- I love you so much.

959
00:56:10,900 --> 00:56:14,300
Thank you. And I will take that
as a feeling that you have...

960
00:56:14,500 --> 00:56:16,900
...of comfortability with me.

961
00:56:17,000 --> 00:56:18,700
It's more than comfortability.

962
00:56:18,900 --> 00:56:22,100
- I mean, I fucking love you.
- Okay. I Th...

963
00:56:22,200 --> 00:56:24,100
I'm just thinking
about our life together.

964
00:56:24,700 --> 00:56:26,700
I feel like I'm walking on a cloud.

965
00:56:26,800 --> 00:56:29,000
My penis is tingling right now.

966
00:56:29,200 --> 00:56:32,800
- That is so off-putting.
- You're not feeling this?

967
00:56:33,200 --> 00:56:36,900
In no way, shape or form do I feel
any feelings of intimacy towards you...

968
00:56:37,100 --> 00:56:39,100
...in any way whatsoever.

969
00:56:39,300 --> 00:56:41,100
You got a really dope
front lawn here.

970
00:56:41,300 --> 00:56:43,200
You and your homeboys
can play on that.

971
00:56:43,400 --> 00:56:45,300
- You can just say "It looks good."
- Yeah.

972
00:56:45,500 --> 00:56:46,500
No, that's how I talk.

973
00:56:46,700 --> 00:56:50,100
Oh, you got a really fresh
entryway here. Pretty awesome.

974
00:56:50,200 --> 00:56:52,900
- Show you the front of the house,
which is actual...

975
00:56:53,100 --> 00:56:57,100
Will you vultures please give us some
privacy? He just died last night.

976
00:56:57,300 --> 00:56:58,800
What is going on here?

977
00:56:59,000 --> 00:57:01,300
It was the asbestos in here,
that's what did it!

978
00:57:01,500 --> 00:57:02,900
I've seen too many dead bodies.

979
00:57:03,100 --> 00:57:05,500
- I can't be in here. I can't.
- No, no, no.

980
00:57:08,400 --> 00:57:11,400
- Not bad.
- Eat shit, Derek.

981
00:57:11,800 --> 00:57:15,200
- Awesome B-day party, broheisens.
- You the man, Derek.

982
00:57:15,400 --> 00:57:17,800
Okay, who's this from? TJ?

983
00:57:17,900 --> 00:57:19,900
Where are
the rest of my gifts, dude?

984
00:57:20,100 --> 00:57:21,900
Totally joking around, TJ.

985
00:57:22,100 --> 00:57:23,300
All right.

986
00:57:23,500 --> 00:57:27,900
Oh, yes! Yes! Callaway 3-wood.

987
00:57:28,100 --> 00:57:29,300
- Yeah!
- Yeah!

988
00:57:30,200 --> 00:57:31,300
Yeah.

989
00:57:31,700 --> 00:57:34,000
- Bomb it down the fairway, bitches!
- That's right.

990
00:57:36,800 --> 00:57:39,300
Hi, my name is Jim.
Wanna suck my dick for money?

991
00:57:39,800 --> 00:57:42,100
- It's just me. Hi.
- Oh, my God.

992
00:57:42,200 --> 00:57:44,500
What are you doing?
This is the men's bathroom.

993
00:57:44,700 --> 00:57:46,500
Happy anniversary.

994
00:57:46,700 --> 00:57:49,000
- It's our second date.
- What?

995
00:57:49,200 --> 00:57:53,100
Listen, I'm sick of being
all coy and bashful, Dale. Okay?

996
00:57:53,300 --> 00:57:56,200
- We're in the bathroom.
- This'll just take a minute.

997
00:57:56,400 --> 00:57:59,600
There's really little you can
do about it. Let me just hop on.

998
00:58:01,200 --> 00:58:03,200
It's all slippery.

999
00:58:04,100 --> 00:58:05,200
Oh, my God!

1000
00:58:10,600 --> 00:58:13,400
It's getting tingly.
Something's gonna happen, Alice!

1001
00:58:21,700 --> 00:58:23,700
Oh, we just had sex.

1002
00:58:23,800 --> 00:58:27,200
- Just the way I imagined it.
- I like you.

1003
00:58:28,300 --> 00:58:29,400
I love you.

1004
00:58:29,600 --> 00:58:31,700
- Stay golden, Ponyboy. I gotta pee.
- Okay.

1005
00:58:33,800 --> 00:58:35,900
Oh, my God.

1006
00:58:36,100 --> 00:58:38,200
You're incredible.

1007
00:58:38,300 --> 00:58:40,700
Say hello to my little friend.

1008
00:58:42,900 --> 00:58:45,300
- Just kidding. It's from <i>Scarface.</i>
<i>- Scarface.</i>

1009
00:58:47,300 --> 00:58:48,600
Shut the fuck up!

1010
00:58:49,400 --> 00:58:51,500
- Sweet-ass gift, Teej.
- Yeah, not bad.

1011
00:58:51,900 --> 00:58:53,400
- I got it all mapped out.
- Okay.

1012
00:58:53,600 --> 00:58:56,900
- I'm following your lead, though.
- I'll get all eyes on us.

1013
00:58:57,100 --> 00:58:58,400
- Okay.
- Just like we planned.

1014
00:58:58,600 --> 00:59:00,700
And then we'll drop the hammer.

1015
00:59:00,900 --> 00:59:04,800
What were Dale and Brennan doing
with my video camera, do you know?

1016
00:59:05,000 --> 00:59:07,600
I have no idea. And frankly,
I really don't care. So...

1017
00:59:08,700 --> 00:59:10,200
I would like to say a few things.

1018
00:59:10,400 --> 00:59:13,600
Derek, you are an outstanding
young man, son.

1019
00:59:13,800 --> 00:59:16,300
And I would like say that
this is the image I have:

1020
00:59:16,500 --> 00:59:19,700
That sometimes when I'm making love
to your mother and I realize that...

1021
00:59:19,900 --> 00:59:22,300
...this is where you came from,
that I'm so moved...

1022
00:59:22,500 --> 00:59:25,700
...that I talked to my lawyer,
and not only are you going to be...

1023
00:59:25,900 --> 00:59:28,900
...in my heart forever, but you're
going to be in my will, young man.

1024
00:59:29,100 --> 00:59:30,700
- Okay. Okay.
- Okay?

1025
00:59:30,900 --> 00:59:33,100
- Robert, that was fucking awesome.
- Thank you.

1026
00:59:33,300 --> 00:59:36,000
You got a lot of this, buddy.
And you got a lot of these.

1027
00:59:36,200 --> 00:59:37,400
Thank you.

1028
00:59:37,600 --> 00:59:40,000
Everyone, if I could have
your attention, please.

1029
00:59:41,000 --> 00:59:42,500
For those of you
who don't know me...

1030
00:59:42,700 --> 00:59:44,100
...my name's Dale Doback.
- Check. Check.

1031
00:59:44,300 --> 00:59:47,100
I'm Robert's other son,
the biological one.

1032
00:59:47,300 --> 00:59:49,200
Check. Check.

1033
00:59:49,400 --> 00:59:52,100
Probably wondering
why we gathered you here tonight...

1034
00:59:52,200 --> 00:59:54,000
...besides Derek's birthday.

1035
00:59:54,600 --> 00:59:57,600
We got a special surprise for you,
Derek, and everybody here...

1036
00:59:57,800 --> 00:59:58,900
- Check, check.
- Check.

1037
00:59:59,000 --> 01:00:01,000
- Dale. No, please.
- Don't interrupt them.

1038
01:00:01,200 --> 01:00:03,200
- I'm begging you.
- You wanna shut this down?

1039
01:00:03,300 --> 01:00:05,300
- Just hold on.
- Derek, for your birthday...

1040
01:00:05,500 --> 01:00:06,900
...we thought we'd roll out...

1041
01:00:07,100 --> 01:00:09,200
...a once-in-a-lifetime
business opportunity.

1042
01:00:09,400 --> 01:00:10,500
Happy birthday, Derek.

1043
01:00:11,100 --> 01:00:12,400
Music.

1044
01:00:15,900 --> 01:00:21,000
Prestige Worldwide,
wide, wide, wide.

1045
01:00:21,200 --> 01:00:23,500
Prestige Worldwide.

1046
01:00:23,600 --> 01:00:26,400
- The first word in entertainment.
- First word.

1047
01:00:26,700 --> 01:00:28,700
- Management.
- Financial portfolios.

1048
01:00:28,800 --> 01:00:30,600
- Insurance.
- Computers.

1049
01:00:30,800 --> 01:00:34,100
- Black leather gloves.
- Research and development.

1050
01:00:34,400 --> 01:00:37,300
Putting in the man-hours to study
the science of what you need.

1051
01:00:37,400 --> 01:00:40,400
Last week we put Liquid Paper
on a bee...

1052
01:00:40,600 --> 01:00:41,900
...and it died.

1053
01:00:42,100 --> 01:00:43,500
- Security.
- Security.

1054
01:00:43,600 --> 01:00:44,900
- And...
- And.

1055
01:00:47,400 --> 01:00:48,800
- Possibly you.
- Possibly you.

1056
01:00:49,100 --> 01:00:52,100
- Oh, this is classic. This is...
- We'd like to present...

1057
01:00:52,900 --> 01:00:56,500
...the world premiere of Prestige
Worldwide's first music video...

1058
01:00:56,700 --> 01:01:00,900
...by our first act, Huff and Doback.

1059
01:01:01,000 --> 01:01:04,000
- Roll it.
- Roll it.

1060
01:01:04,500 --> 01:01:08,300
Pay close attention, Dad.
It's gonna look familiar.

1061
01:01:08,500 --> 01:01:11,400
- This is... This is perfect.
- Is that my boat?

1062
01:01:11,600 --> 01:01:13,800
Yes, it is.

1063
01:01:14,200 --> 01:01:15,600
What are you doing on my boat?

1064
01:01:15,800 --> 01:01:18,300
<i>The Niña, the Pinta
the Santa María</i>

1065
01:01:18,500 --> 01:01:21,000
<i>I'll do you in the bottom
While you're drinking sangria</i>

1066
01:01:21,200 --> 01:01:23,600
<i>Nachos and Lemonheads
On my dad's boat</i>

1067
01:01:23,800 --> 01:01:25,800
<i>You won't go down
'Cause my dick can float</i>

1068
01:01:26,000 --> 01:01:28,500
<i>We sail around the world
And go port to port</i>

1069
01:01:28,700 --> 01:01:31,300
<i>Every time I come
I produce a quart</i>

1070
01:01:31,500 --> 01:01:33,800
That is offensive. Brennan, Dale.

1071
01:01:33,900 --> 01:01:36,400
<i>I gotta have me my boats and ho's</i>

1072
01:01:36,500 --> 01:01:38,700
<i>Deadliest Catch without the crabs</i>

1073
01:01:38,900 --> 01:01:41,500
<i>We're almost out of gas
Call the Arabs</i>

1074
01:01:41,700 --> 01:01:43,900
<i>Pull up the anchor
'Cause we're leaving dry land</i>

1075
01:01:44,100 --> 01:01:46,600
<i>Get below deck
With a dick in your hand</i>

1076
01:01:46,800 --> 01:01:49,000
<i>Boats and ho's
Boats and ho's</i>

1077
01:01:49,200 --> 01:01:52,000
<i>I gotta have me my boats and ho's</i>

1078
01:01:52,200 --> 01:01:54,400
<i>Are you ready for some
world-class vocalization?</i>

1079
01:01:54,500 --> 01:01:56,200
- Get a partner.
- Wait a minute.

1080
01:01:56,400 --> 01:01:59,000
- Who's steering the boat?
- Dad, please shut up.

1081
01:01:59,200 --> 01:02:00,400
Please shut up!

1082
01:02:10,200 --> 01:02:12,000
Yeah!

1083
01:02:17,600 --> 01:02:19,000
So...

1084
01:02:19,200 --> 01:02:21,500
...big question is:

1085
01:02:22,100 --> 01:02:25,500
Aside from the damage to the boat,
which we will fix...

1086
01:02:26,600 --> 01:02:28,400
...what'd you think
of the presentation?

1087
01:02:28,600 --> 01:02:34,700
Brennan, I think that what you did
to Robert's boat was horrid.

1088
01:02:34,900 --> 01:02:37,200
Having said that,
I think that both of you boys...

1089
01:02:37,400 --> 01:02:40,800
...showed a lot of enthusiasm
and inventiveness.

1090
01:02:41,000 --> 01:02:43,100
Yes. Thank you.

1091
01:02:43,400 --> 01:02:45,400
You gotta be kidding me.

1092
01:02:46,200 --> 01:02:48,900
They destroyed our dream
and you're calling it inventive.

1093
01:02:49,000 --> 01:02:51,600
- No, no, no. I didn't mean it like that.
- Yes, you did.

1094
01:02:51,800 --> 01:02:53,000
Come on, you did.

1095
01:02:53,500 --> 01:02:56,800
It's gonna be four years, at least,
before we can sail anywhere.

1096
01:02:57,000 --> 01:03:00,400
- And you could care less, admit it.
- I will not admit that...

1097
01:03:00,500 --> 01:03:02,900
...because it is not true.
- Oh, yeah.

1098
01:03:03,100 --> 01:03:06,200
But, you know,
I do think that you could show...

1099
01:03:06,300 --> 01:03:10,400
...a little bit more attentiveness
to your son and your stepson...

1100
01:03:10,600 --> 01:03:12,200
...who obviously need you.

1101
01:03:12,400 --> 01:03:13,700
It's true, Dr. Doback.

1102
01:03:13,800 --> 01:03:16,700
You've been very cold
and unsupportive of our dreams.

1103
01:03:16,900 --> 01:03:18,700
You wrecked my fucking boat,
you goon!

1104
01:03:18,800 --> 01:03:20,900
Don't speak to my son like that.

1105
01:03:21,100 --> 01:03:23,600
Your son's costing me $80,000.

1106
01:03:23,800 --> 01:03:27,000
We could bicker about this all night,
but what's done is done, Dad.

1107
01:03:27,200 --> 01:03:30,000
- Are you guys gonna invest or not?
- That's it! That's it!

1108
01:03:30,200 --> 01:03:32,000
- What are you doing?
- Grab the wheel!

1109
01:03:32,800 --> 01:03:34,600
I can't believe
you're being so stingy.

1110
01:03:34,700 --> 01:03:37,200
- Robert, come down.
- It's a simple business decision.

1111
01:03:37,400 --> 01:03:39,100
You jackaloons!

1112
01:03:39,200 --> 01:03:42,700
You're failures! Failures!

1113
01:03:42,800 --> 01:03:45,700
And you're embarrassing yourself,
you geriatric fuck!

1114
01:03:45,900 --> 01:03:47,300
- Brennan.
- Two things:

1115
01:03:47,500 --> 01:03:50,300
You keep your liver-spotted hands
off my beautiful mother.

1116
01:03:50,400 --> 01:03:51,500
She's a saint!

1117
01:03:51,700 --> 01:03:55,200
Then you sit down and you write Dale
and Brennan a check for $ 10,000.

1118
01:03:55,400 --> 01:03:56,400
Oh, stop it.

1119
01:03:56,600 --> 01:04:00,500
Or I'm gonna shove one of those fake
hearing devices so far up your ass...

1120
01:04:00,700 --> 01:04:02,400
- Brennan!
...you can hear the sound...

1121
01:04:02,600 --> 01:04:05,400
...of your small intestine
as it produces shit!

1122
01:04:06,200 --> 01:04:07,900
- All right, here we go.
- Oh, my Lord.

1123
01:04:08,000 --> 01:04:11,100
Somebody should've done this
a long time ago, and I'm gonna do it.

1124
01:04:11,300 --> 01:04:12,700
- What are you doing?
- Robert.

1125
01:04:12,900 --> 01:04:14,700
There are consequences
for your actions.

1126
01:04:14,900 --> 01:04:17,600
- No! Robert!
- Dad!

1127
01:04:17,800 --> 01:04:19,900
- This is not the answer.
- You're next, mister.

1128
01:04:20,000 --> 01:04:21,200
- You understand me?
- Yes.

1129
01:04:21,300 --> 01:04:24,400
- Certain behaviors...
- Let go of me.

1130
01:04:24,600 --> 01:04:27,700
...will not be tolerated!
- My ass is on fire!

1131
01:04:38,000 --> 01:04:42,500
Wow, the tree looks great, Nancy.
Really tasteful.

1132
01:04:42,700 --> 01:04:46,200
Thank you, Dale. That's a very nice
sweater you're wearing.

1133
01:04:46,600 --> 01:04:50,000
It was my mom's.
I took the shoulder pads out.

1134
01:04:50,200 --> 01:04:52,100
Oh, and, Brennan? Denise called...

1135
01:04:52,200 --> 01:04:54,800
...and she said she can't go out
with you on New Year's Eve...

1136
01:04:55,000 --> 01:04:57,800
...because she's not your girlfriend,
she's your therapist.

1137
01:04:58,000 --> 01:04:59,300
- Is that what she said?
- Yeah.

1138
01:04:59,500 --> 01:05:00,600
She's a rascal.

1139
01:05:01,100 --> 01:05:03,100
Hey, Dad, Nancy?

1140
01:05:03,200 --> 01:05:08,300
Would it be cool if Brennan and I
opened just one present each...

1141
01:05:08,500 --> 01:05:10,600
...since it's Christmas Eve?

1142
01:05:10,800 --> 01:05:13,700
I'm gonna go down to the
Cheesecake Factory, have a drink.

1143
01:05:16,400 --> 01:05:19,500
But it's Christmas Eve.

1144
01:05:19,600 --> 01:05:21,400
Merry Christmas.

1145
01:05:22,200 --> 01:05:24,000
- Yes.
- Yeah.

1146
01:05:24,200 --> 01:05:26,400
I had my eye on one.

1147
01:05:26,800 --> 01:05:28,700
I hope it's what I think it is.

1148
01:05:28,900 --> 01:05:31,100
Oh, my God. Hulk Hands!

1149
01:05:31,200 --> 01:05:32,700
Wait, Dale got Hulk Hands?

1150
01:05:37,900 --> 01:05:41,300
Well, you reek of Scotch
and cheesecake.

1151
01:05:42,300 --> 01:05:43,700
You know...

1152
01:05:44,600 --> 01:05:49,300
...tonight at the Cheesecake Factory
was the happiest I've been in months.

1153
01:05:49,700 --> 01:05:53,100
- Well, then I feel very sorry for you.
- Well, just...

1154
01:05:53,300 --> 01:05:57,200
Nancy, I don't know if I can ever
forgive them for wrecking my boat.

1155
01:05:57,400 --> 01:06:00,100
- Why are you giving up?
- I'm not giving up. I'm not.

1156
01:06:00,300 --> 01:06:04,300
- You are. You're giving up on our boys.
- But they're 40.

1157
01:06:04,400 --> 01:06:07,400
I don't care how old they are.
They're still our children.

1158
01:06:07,600 --> 01:06:10,600
Well, sometime it's got to matter
how old they are.

1159
01:06:10,800 --> 01:06:13,500
That's all we do, is...
Oh, sweet Jesus.

1160
01:06:13,700 --> 01:06:17,300
Oh, it...
You know, they'll go back to bed.

1161
01:06:18,100 --> 01:06:19,900
See? They're sleepwalking.

1162
01:06:20,100 --> 01:06:22,000
No. No.

1163
01:06:22,200 --> 01:06:24,500
See, back to bed.

1164
01:06:24,600 --> 01:06:25,900
They'll be fine.

1165
01:06:26,300 --> 01:06:28,800
Just nonsense.
I'm gonna wake them up.

1166
01:06:28,900 --> 01:06:32,400
- No. Why would you do such a thing?
- Well, because it's...

1167
01:06:32,600 --> 01:06:35,000
- Never, ever wake up a sleepwalker.
- See, that's it.

1168
01:06:35,100 --> 01:06:36,600
- We can't ever do anything.
- No.

1169
01:06:36,800 --> 01:06:39,200
But they could do real harm
to themselves or others.

1170
01:06:39,400 --> 01:06:42,000
- Oh, the Christmas presents.
- No, guys... No, no, don't...

1171
01:06:42,100 --> 01:06:44,500
- No. But...
- I think we should take control.

1172
01:06:44,700 --> 01:06:47,900
- It's always about them.
- How do you propose to do that?

1173
01:06:48,100 --> 01:06:50,200
- Oh, Jesus.
- Whatever you do, don't wake them.

1174
01:06:50,400 --> 01:06:53,400
They might do real harm
to themselves or others.

1175
01:06:53,600 --> 01:06:56,500
- Not everybody does know that.
- Oh, the Christmas tree!

1176
01:06:56,600 --> 01:06:59,800
Oh, not the... No, don't...
All right, that's it!

1177
01:07:00,000 --> 01:07:01,600
- I'm waking them up!
- No! No!

1178
01:07:01,800 --> 01:07:03,400
- Don't wake them up!
- That's a myth!

1179
01:07:03,600 --> 01:07:05,100
- Wake up, both of you.
- Don't.

1180
01:07:07,200 --> 01:07:09,800
I told you! I told you!

1181
01:07:10,500 --> 01:07:13,000
Stop it! Don't hurt him!

1182
01:07:13,500 --> 01:07:16,700
The pictures! Nancy!

1183
01:07:21,100 --> 01:07:22,900
Robert!

1184
01:07:29,700 --> 01:07:32,300
I mean, I was driving around
with a buddy of mine, Topher.

1185
01:07:32,500 --> 01:07:33,900
You guys remember Topher, right?

1186
01:07:34,100 --> 01:07:36,500
Driving around, he has this
brand-new Testarossa, right?

1187
01:07:37,100 --> 01:07:40,600
We hit this four-point buck. Dead.
Lying in the road.

1188
01:07:40,900 --> 01:07:43,000
Long story short,
we sue the state of Michigan.

1189
01:07:43,200 --> 01:07:47,700
I end up getting 125 G's. Okay?
You know what I spent that money on?

1190
01:07:47,900 --> 01:07:50,200
Sniper rifle to hunt deer.

1191
01:07:52,600 --> 01:07:54,800
Either way, the deers lose,
my friends.

1192
01:08:00,500 --> 01:08:03,000
Good riddance.
Eat all the damn flowers, anyway.

1193
01:08:03,200 --> 01:08:04,600
If you'll excuse me...

1194
01:08:04,800 --> 01:08:08,600
...I think I'm going to go into
the other room to check my hair.

1195
01:08:09,100 --> 01:08:10,800
- Excuse me.
- Sorry, everybody.

1196
01:08:11,000 --> 01:08:12,900
If you'll excuse
my space-cadet wife here.

1197
01:08:13,000 --> 01:08:15,200
Let's just say the meds
aren't helping.

1198
01:08:16,100 --> 01:08:19,300
I'm kidding. Kidding. But not at all.

1199
01:08:19,500 --> 01:08:21,800
I have to get some more gravy.

1200
01:08:21,900 --> 01:08:23,900
- Oh, Dale, it's right there.
- Oh, no.

1201
01:08:24,100 --> 01:08:26,800
Shush up, Nancy.
I have to get some more bread.

1202
01:08:27,800 --> 01:08:29,800
What did I do to deserve that?

1203
01:08:34,100 --> 01:08:35,900
What do any of us do
to deserve anything?

1204
01:08:36,100 --> 01:08:40,100
I pay enough taxes to support
all these lazy goddamn liberals.

1205
01:08:42,200 --> 01:08:47,100
Get off me! Off!
Get back. Get back! Back!

1206
01:08:54,700 --> 01:08:56,800
- What do you want?
- Merry Christmas, darling.

1207
01:08:57,000 --> 01:08:59,700
- Merry Christmas.
- Oh, that was torture.

1208
01:09:01,400 --> 01:09:04,800
I couldn't eat another bite of turkey
without thinking of you inside of me.

1209
01:09:05,000 --> 01:09:06,800
Come on, let's try something illegal.

1210
01:09:07,100 --> 01:09:09,300
So, Tommy, what did you
get for Christmas?

1211
01:09:09,400 --> 01:09:14,700
Well, Santa brought me the Bowflex
and $ 1000 in fresh-minted $50 bills.

1212
01:09:14,800 --> 01:09:19,500
Wanna know what I got
for Christmas? A crushed soul.

1213
01:09:23,300 --> 01:09:25,300
- Alice, please.
- Sing along, Santa.

1214
01:09:25,400 --> 01:09:26,600
You know this song.

1215
01:09:26,800 --> 01:09:29,000
What is that noise?

1216
01:09:29,800 --> 01:09:31,300
It's... This is the ghost.

1217
01:09:31,500 --> 01:09:34,400
- Just try to be quiet. Okay.
- You're right. You're right.

1218
01:09:34,600 --> 01:09:37,100
- We've got to be discreet.
- All right.

1219
01:09:37,200 --> 01:09:40,300
No, no! Oh, hey.

1220
01:09:40,700 --> 01:09:43,900
Are you all still talking in here?

1221
01:09:44,000 --> 01:09:45,100
What are you doing?

1222
01:09:46,400 --> 01:09:49,500
Alice was moving a chair from the
living room into the dining room...

1223
01:09:49,700 --> 01:09:53,000
...for an extra chair
and her back went out.

1224
01:09:53,200 --> 01:09:57,400
And I just did the best thing,
which is get right on the muscles...

1225
01:09:57,600 --> 01:09:59,200
- Muscles.
...so they don't seize up.

1226
01:09:59,400 --> 01:10:02,000
Just add some heat to it.

1227
01:10:04,900 --> 01:10:06,300
Damn it, Dale, sit down.

1228
01:10:06,400 --> 01:10:10,000
It's just a real deep, tight muscle.

1229
01:10:10,200 --> 01:10:11,900
Hey, sweetie,
can you grab me a beer?

1230
01:10:12,100 --> 01:10:13,800
- I'll get you another Heineken.
- Yeah.

1231
01:10:14,000 --> 01:10:16,000
Merry Christmas.

1232
01:10:16,500 --> 01:10:19,300
And how about you, Tiffany,
what did you get for Christmas?

1233
01:10:19,500 --> 01:10:22,000
I got this Mikimoto pearl necklace.

1234
01:10:22,200 --> 01:10:25,600
But next year I'm gonna ask
Santa for breast implants...

1235
01:10:25,800 --> 01:10:27,700
...because I'm impatient
with my body.

1236
01:10:27,800 --> 01:10:31,200
Hey, Tiffany. Wanna know
what I got? A crushed soul.

1237
01:10:31,500 --> 01:10:33,000
You mentioned that earlier.

1238
01:10:34,400 --> 01:10:35,900
- So good.
- Oh, gosh!

1239
01:10:36,100 --> 01:10:39,900
It's gone into a real bad spasm,
so I put a yoga move on her.

1240
01:10:41,500 --> 01:10:44,600
Grant me this one,
because I was pretty wasted.

1241
01:10:44,800 --> 01:10:46,400
So I put my lips
around that breathalyzer...

1242
01:10:47,100 --> 01:10:49,400
...and I saw those numerals pop up:

1243
01:10:49,600 --> 01:10:53,800
0.079.

1244
01:10:54,500 --> 01:10:59,000
So I started going to Chad
Michael Murray's Christmas party.

1245
01:10:59,100 --> 01:11:01,200
I think that was the year.
And just driving...

1246
01:11:01,400 --> 01:11:05,000
I have to interrupt you. Robert, while
the children are in the living room...

1247
01:11:05,100 --> 01:11:08,100
...I think this would be a good time
to make our announcement.

1248
01:11:08,200 --> 01:11:11,100
- What's going on?
- It's over.

1249
01:11:11,900 --> 01:11:14,600
I'm gonna be moving in
with my friend Jack Handle...

1250
01:11:14,800 --> 01:11:17,300
...and Nancy found a townhouse
in the city.

1251
01:11:18,600 --> 01:11:20,200
What is this? What's happening?

1252
01:11:20,400 --> 01:11:23,800
What Robert is trying to say
is that we are getting a divorce.

1253
01:11:24,200 --> 01:11:26,900
- Don't do this.
- No. No!

1254
01:11:27,000 --> 01:11:28,700
- I could've called this one.
- No.

1255
01:11:28,900 --> 01:11:30,800
- Yeah.
- Is it our fault?

1256
01:11:30,900 --> 01:11:33,000
- Is it because we were bad?
- No. No.

1257
01:11:33,100 --> 01:11:36,100
The main thing that
Robert and I talked about...

1258
01:11:36,300 --> 01:11:38,900
...is that we did not want you two
to blame yourselves.

1259
01:11:39,000 --> 01:11:42,400
- What can we do to fix it?
- Dale, honey, are you okay?

1260
01:11:42,600 --> 01:11:45,500
- Why are you calling him "honey"?
- I cannot stress this enough:

1261
01:11:45,600 --> 01:11:49,200
- It is not your fault.
- Whose fault is it?

1262
01:11:49,400 --> 01:11:51,800
- Fuck it, I wanna fucking know!
- Let's cut the shit.

1263
01:11:52,000 --> 01:11:55,600
- It is directly your fault.
- Robert.

1264
01:11:55,800 --> 01:11:57,200
You destroyed my boat.

1265
01:11:57,400 --> 01:11:59,000
You beat me up in your sleep...

1266
01:11:59,100 --> 01:12:03,200
...and worst of all, you made
Nancy and I resent each other.

1267
01:12:03,300 --> 01:12:08,000
- It is absolutely 150 percent your fault!
- Of course it's their fault.

1268
01:12:08,200 --> 01:12:11,600
They're the world's biggest dickheads,
and they're living in your house.

1269
01:12:11,800 --> 01:12:14,300
- Shut up, Derek.
- I'm sorry, but that...

1270
01:12:15,300 --> 01:12:18,700
Please don't cry like that.
Please don't, Brennan.

1271
01:12:22,600 --> 01:12:26,600
- Mommy!
- Dale!

1272
01:12:26,800 --> 01:12:29,600
I told you that they would feel
completely to blame.

1273
01:12:29,800 --> 01:12:33,600
- Oh, let's grow up.
- I think I'm going to throw up.

1274
01:12:33,700 --> 01:12:36,100
- I think I'm gonna throw up...
- Don't throw up.

1275
01:12:36,300 --> 01:12:39,200
...all the nice dinner that I had.
I'm gonna throw it up.

1276
01:12:40,400 --> 01:12:42,600
- You're not gonna throw up.
- He's gonna throw up.

1277
01:12:43,700 --> 01:12:46,500
- Come on.
- My God, he threw up. Oh, this is ugly.

1278
01:12:46,700 --> 01:12:48,800
- Hey, guys. Guys.
- This is not nice!

1279
01:12:48,900 --> 01:12:51,900
- All right, dipshits. Right here.
- Stop it, Derek.

1280
01:12:52,100 --> 01:12:57,300
- One, two, three...
- I don't want my picture taken now.

1281
01:13:03,300 --> 01:13:06,500
Good luck, and remember, I need you
out of this house by tomorrow.

1282
01:13:06,700 --> 01:13:08,900
No exceptions.

1283
01:13:17,500 --> 01:13:20,300
If there's anything you need,
anything that you boys need...

1284
01:13:20,400 --> 01:13:23,100
...you just give me a call. Okay?
It's all right.

1285
01:13:29,300 --> 01:13:33,000
Hey. Are you awake?

1286
01:13:33,400 --> 01:13:35,000
Yeah.

1287
01:13:37,500 --> 01:13:41,300
I can't believe we actually
have to move out of this house.

1288
01:13:41,900 --> 01:13:44,300
I know. I feel bad.

1289
01:13:44,500 --> 01:13:47,100
Hey, you know,
we don't have to whisper anymore.

1290
01:13:47,200 --> 01:13:48,600
Mom and Dad aren't here.

1291
01:13:48,800 --> 01:13:50,800
Yeah, but can we keep
doing it, though?

1292
01:13:51,000 --> 01:13:53,100
It helps me pretend that they are.

1293
01:13:53,300 --> 01:13:56,100
You must feel just terrible.

1294
01:13:56,900 --> 01:14:00,000
- I mean, I know I feel bad.
- Yeah.

1295
01:14:00,200 --> 01:14:02,500
But I can't imagine how you feel...

1296
01:14:02,700 --> 01:14:05,700
...after my dad looked
right at you and said...

1297
01:14:05,800 --> 01:14:08,300
...it's all your fault
that they broke up.

1298
01:14:08,500 --> 01:14:12,300
That's funny, because my mom said:

1299
01:14:12,500 --> 01:14:14,900
"If that curly-headed fuck Dale
wasn't here...

1300
01:14:15,100 --> 01:14:17,500
...everything would be perfect."

1301
01:14:18,300 --> 01:14:21,600
- You take that back.
- No way. It's your fault.

1302
01:14:22,000 --> 01:14:23,700
You know what your problem is?

1303
01:14:23,900 --> 01:14:26,700
You live in a fantasy land.
You refuse to get a job...

1304
01:14:26,800 --> 01:14:29,500
...and you don't know what it's like
to work for something.

1305
01:14:29,700 --> 01:14:33,300
You don't take responsibility for
your actions. This is all your fault!

1306
01:14:33,500 --> 01:14:36,500
Well, you're a mama's boy
who's too chicken to sing in public!

1307
01:14:38,700 --> 01:14:39,900
Yeah, that's right.

1308
01:14:40,100 --> 01:14:42,400
Run away, little boy,
because you know it's true.

1309
01:14:42,500 --> 01:14:44,100
Just avoid everything.

1310
01:14:45,500 --> 01:14:47,100
What are you doing?

1311
01:14:48,100 --> 01:14:50,900
- <i>Dale broke up Mom and Dad</i>
- Motherfucker!

1312
01:14:51,100 --> 01:14:54,900
<i>Dale broke up Mom and Dad
Dale broke up Mom and Dad</i>

1313
01:14:55,000 --> 01:14:56,900
- <i>Dale broke up Mom and</i>...
- Brennan!

1314
01:15:02,700 --> 01:15:05,900
Get up, Brennan,
I know you're faking. Get up!

1315
01:15:06,200 --> 01:15:07,800
Get up!

1316
01:15:14,100 --> 01:15:15,100
Brennan?

1317
01:15:15,300 --> 01:15:18,700
It's just like <i>Cold Case Files.</i>
It's just like <i>Cold Case Files.</i>

1318
01:15:18,800 --> 01:15:20,700
It's just like <i>Cold Case Files.</i>

1319
01:15:21,200 --> 01:15:23,400
People die every day.

1320
01:15:23,700 --> 01:15:27,900
Give him a proper burial
in an unmarked grave...

1321
01:15:31,900 --> 01:15:34,500
- Brennan! You're alive! Oh, my God.
- I know.

1322
01:15:34,600 --> 01:15:36,000
I'm alive.

1323
01:15:38,600 --> 01:15:42,200
- You were dead. I saw you die!
- I was faking.

1324
01:15:42,400 --> 01:15:44,900
I used ninja focus
to slow my heart rate down.

1325
01:15:45,900 --> 01:15:48,100
- What are you doing?
- I'm burying you.

1326
01:15:48,300 --> 01:15:51,700
- I'm alive. Brennan, I'm alive.
- You're waking the neighbors!

1327
01:15:51,900 --> 01:15:54,200
- Shut up!
- No. No.

1328
01:15:55,500 --> 01:15:58,300
- Now I'm gonna play your drum set.
- Help me.

1329
01:15:58,500 --> 01:16:01,300
Close your eyes.
Let the dirt just shower over you.

1330
01:16:02,400 --> 01:16:04,500
This is your fault.

1331
01:16:05,100 --> 01:16:09,600
Oh, I'm exhausted.
I'm gonna sleep good tonight.

1332
01:16:12,400 --> 01:16:14,900
- Don't you touch my drums!
- Zombie!

1333
01:16:15,400 --> 01:16:18,300
Zombie! Zombie!

1334
01:16:19,900 --> 01:16:21,100
Get off me, zombie.

1335
01:16:23,200 --> 01:16:24,300
Get off.

1336
01:16:36,700 --> 01:16:37,900
I'm late for school.

1337
01:16:38,100 --> 01:16:41,600
I will kiss you right on the mouth,
Kenny Rogers.

1338
01:16:42,600 --> 01:16:45,200
- Just get off me.
- Hey.

1339
01:16:48,600 --> 01:16:50,300
So I guess it's really over.

1340
01:16:50,500 --> 01:16:53,300
I'd say you trying to bury me alive
pretty much did it.

1341
01:16:53,500 --> 01:16:55,700
You know what I just realized?

1342
01:16:55,900 --> 01:16:58,100
You've been the one
dragging me down.

1343
01:16:58,200 --> 01:17:01,300
Now I'm gonna go out and I'm gonna
get a job and an apartment...

1344
01:17:01,500 --> 01:17:04,500
...and then I'm gonna get Mom
and Dr. Doback back together.

1345
01:17:04,600 --> 01:17:07,400
I'm gonna be the hero,
and you can suck on it.

1346
01:17:10,600 --> 01:17:13,500
My life was perfect
before you came here.

1347
01:17:13,700 --> 01:17:17,700
Me and my dad had a perfect setup,
and you wrecked it.

1348
01:17:21,300 --> 01:17:22,600
Hey.

1349
01:17:23,500 --> 01:17:25,700
We're no longer brothers.

1350
01:17:26,100 --> 01:17:29,900
We never were.
We were stepbrothers.

1351
01:17:42,800 --> 01:17:45,300
- That was one of your best.
- These balls fucking suck.

1352
01:17:46,300 --> 01:17:47,600
All right.

1353
01:17:48,200 --> 01:17:50,300
Well, well, well,
look who's here, boys.

1354
01:17:50,800 --> 01:17:53,400
Can you give me a job, please?

1355
01:17:54,500 --> 01:17:57,800
TJ, get an office pool going.

1356
01:17:58,200 --> 01:18:00,900
Give Ken-Doll Crotch here
two weeks, tops.

1357
01:18:01,600 --> 01:18:03,900
Dr. Angel Face,
I just wanted to say thank you...

1358
01:18:04,100 --> 01:18:07,800
...for meeting me
on such short notice.

1359
01:18:07,900 --> 01:18:10,300
- Don't call me Angel Face.
- I apologize.

1360
01:18:10,400 --> 01:18:15,100
I'm very alone right now, and the thing
I wanna ask you to help me...

1361
01:18:15,600 --> 01:18:18,400
To show me how I can be
a grown-up.

1362
01:18:18,500 --> 01:18:20,600
Do I carry my
high-school diploma around?

1363
01:18:20,700 --> 01:18:22,100
What do you do with your hair?

1364
01:18:22,300 --> 01:18:24,400
What happens if there's
inclement weather?

1365
01:18:24,600 --> 01:18:26,300
Where do you...?
What do you wear?

1366
01:18:26,400 --> 01:18:28,200
Can you wash clothes
in the dishwasher?

1367
01:18:28,400 --> 01:18:31,400
I notice that there's a long gap
in your job history...

1368
01:18:31,600 --> 01:18:35,400
...and it said for 22 years...

1369
01:18:35,500 --> 01:18:38,600
...you went Kerouac
on everyone's ass?

1370
01:18:38,800 --> 01:18:41,100
I'm gonna be honest with you.
I really need a job.

1371
01:18:41,200 --> 01:18:44,400
And I will take any position,
as long as it doesn't involve...

1372
01:18:44,600 --> 01:18:48,600
...having sex with old ladies
for money or bear traps.

1373
01:18:48,800 --> 01:18:51,300
- Those are my two bugaboos.
- All right, got it.

1374
01:18:51,500 --> 01:18:54,300
There's a catering business,
there's a temp job open.

1375
01:18:54,400 --> 01:18:56,900
And you get to play with fire.

1376
01:20:09,200 --> 01:20:11,600
What do you want?
This is my online-poker time.

1377
01:20:11,700 --> 01:20:14,000
I'm ready to take on
the Catalina Wine Mixer.

1378
01:20:14,200 --> 01:20:16,100
Slow down there, Speed Racer.

1379
01:20:16,300 --> 01:20:18,600
I know what it entails,
and I'm ready to nail it.

1380
01:20:18,800 --> 01:20:21,300
I want it, okay?
I want the Catalina Wine Mixer.

1381
01:20:21,500 --> 01:20:23,300
- Yo, yo.
- Hey, D-man.

1382
01:20:23,400 --> 01:20:25,100
- You tell him what's up?
- I sure did.

1383
01:20:25,300 --> 01:20:26,800
- Hey.
- Hey.

1384
01:20:27,000 --> 01:20:29,400
Your brother wants a shot
at the Catalina Wine Mixer.

1385
01:20:29,600 --> 01:20:30,800
I'm ready, walking tall.

1386
01:20:30,900 --> 01:20:32,700
You're ready to run with the bulls?

1387
01:20:32,800 --> 01:20:36,700
I've been earning and burning,
snapping necks and cashing checks.

1388
01:20:37,200 --> 01:20:39,800
Screw it, let's let him do it.
It's a win-win for me...

1389
01:20:40,000 --> 01:20:42,200
...because if you fuck up, Brennan...
- Yeah?

1390
01:20:42,400 --> 01:20:46,600
...I get to fire your ass. But if you pull
it off, I look like a genius to the board.

1391
01:20:47,600 --> 01:20:48,900
- Okay?
- I get it.

1392
01:20:49,100 --> 01:20:50,400
Brennan, here's the thing.

1393
01:20:50,600 --> 01:20:53,400
It's the Catalina fucking
Wine Mixer, okay?

1394
01:20:53,700 --> 01:20:55,700
Are you saying "pow"?
What are you saying?

1395
01:20:56,200 --> 01:20:59,700
It's the biggest helicopter-leasing
event in the Western Hemisphere...

1396
01:20:59,800 --> 01:21:01,900
...since 1997.

1397
01:21:02,400 --> 01:21:05,000
- Why does he keep doing that?
- I have to sell or lease...

1398
01:21:05,200 --> 01:21:07,300
...at least 80 choppers
to make my nut.

1399
01:21:07,400 --> 01:21:12,100
And you mess with my nut, Brennan,
Randy here is gonna eat your dick.

1400
01:21:12,300 --> 01:21:14,800
Like Kobayashi.

1401
01:21:16,400 --> 01:21:17,600
I've seen him do it.

1402
01:21:17,800 --> 01:21:19,300
You've seen him eat a penis?

1403
01:21:19,500 --> 01:21:22,300
It was in international waters,
so they couldn't prosecute him.

1404
01:21:22,500 --> 01:21:25,000
I tell you now, I'll nail it.
I'll pull it off, okay?

1405
01:21:25,200 --> 01:21:27,200
Wait a second,
why do you want this so bad?

1406
01:21:27,300 --> 01:21:29,800
Trying to get Mom and Dad
back together or something?

1407
01:21:30,000 --> 01:21:31,200
- Why do I want this?
- Yeah.

1408
01:21:31,400 --> 01:21:36,300
Because I wanna make bank, bro.
I wanna get ass.

1409
01:21:36,400 --> 01:21:38,200
And I wanna drive a Range Rover.

1410
01:21:38,300 --> 01:21:39,800
Okay, well, you better, Brennan.

1411
01:21:40,000 --> 01:21:42,100
This is the fucking
Catalina Wine Mixer.

1412
01:22:00,700 --> 01:22:02,500
Nancy. Hi.

1413
01:22:02,700 --> 01:22:06,200
Hi. What are you doing here?

1414
01:22:06,300 --> 01:22:08,300
Well, Dale's working the function.

1415
01:22:08,400 --> 01:22:11,300
Guys, this is supposed to be jicama,
not bok choy.

1416
01:22:11,500 --> 01:22:12,500
Sorry, folks.

1417
01:22:13,900 --> 01:22:16,300
And I got an invitation from Brennan.

1418
01:22:16,400 --> 01:22:19,600
Can you believe
Brennan put all this together?

1419
01:22:22,300 --> 01:22:24,900
And now here we all are in Catalina.

1420
01:22:25,100 --> 01:22:28,700
- It's funny, huh?
- Yeah, it's funny.

1421
01:22:28,900 --> 01:22:31,200
- Hey, hey, hey.
- Hey.

1422
01:22:32,400 --> 01:22:34,500
Not bad. You're nailing it.

1423
01:22:34,700 --> 01:22:36,900
- Thanks, Randy. That means a lot.
- Yeah.

1424
01:22:37,100 --> 01:22:38,300
I don't know what it is...

1425
01:22:38,500 --> 01:22:41,300
...but I wanna deliver one of these
right in your suck hole.

1426
01:22:41,500 --> 01:22:44,600
- Is there anything I can do?
- No. Not really. It's your face.

1427
01:22:44,700 --> 01:22:47,300
Again, you're doing great, man.
The Catalina Wine Mixer.

1428
01:22:47,500 --> 01:22:49,400
We're all having a great time,
having fun.

1429
01:22:49,500 --> 01:22:52,100
You pulled it off.
But if you don't change your face...

1430
01:22:52,200 --> 01:22:54,400
...I'm gonna change it for you.
- Okay. Okay.

1431
01:22:54,600 --> 01:22:56,700
All I can do is take that in,
consider it...

1432
01:22:56,900 --> 01:23:00,100
...and I'll just do my best version
of whatever I think that would be.

1433
01:23:00,300 --> 01:23:03,100
I don't even hear you,
your face is driving me nuts.

1434
01:23:03,200 --> 01:23:05,300
- Thanks again, though.
- Oh, tits. Hold on.

1435
01:23:05,700 --> 01:23:09,100
- Hey. Hello, Catalina Wine Mixer.
- Hi.

1436
01:23:09,400 --> 01:23:11,800
How are you? We are Uptown Girl.

1437
01:23:12,000 --> 01:23:15,800
We are California's preeminent
1980s Billy Joel cover band.

1438
01:23:15,900 --> 01:23:17,700
"Piano Man"!

1439
01:23:17,900 --> 01:23:19,800
What did I just say, man?

1440
01:23:20,000 --> 01:23:21,700
All right, we don't play that...

1441
01:23:21,900 --> 01:23:24,400
...so let's keep it in the '80s
and let's keep it fun.

1442
01:23:24,600 --> 01:23:25,700
You having a good time?

1443
01:23:25,900 --> 01:23:28,300
I hope you are,
because sometimes life can be tough.

1444
01:23:30,000 --> 01:23:33,500
And I know that sometimes
it's hard to "Keeping the Faith."

1445
01:23:44,000 --> 01:23:45,900
You guys seem to be hitting it off.

1446
01:23:46,000 --> 01:23:47,300
Oh, honey.

1447
01:23:47,500 --> 01:23:49,400
Oh, my God,
this is the greatest party.

1448
01:23:49,600 --> 01:23:50,800
- Hello, Robert.
- Way to go.

1449
01:23:50,900 --> 01:23:53,500
- Brennan, this is fantastic.
- Way to go.

1450
01:23:53,700 --> 01:23:55,400
So impressed.

1451
01:23:55,600 --> 01:23:57,600
- Hi, Dad. Hi, Nancy.
- Hi, Dale.

1452
01:23:57,800 --> 01:23:59,500
- Hey, Brennan.
- It's good to see you.

1453
01:23:59,700 --> 01:24:01,800
Thanks for hiring
our catering company.

1454
01:24:02,000 --> 01:24:04,900
Easy decision. You guys have
a outstanding track record.

1455
01:24:05,500 --> 01:24:08,200
- Just like old times, huh?
- Right, it really is.

1456
01:24:08,400 --> 01:24:10,300
You still have your
night-vision goggles?

1457
01:24:10,400 --> 01:24:14,300
No, no. No, I had to sell those
to pay for car insurance.

1458
01:24:14,900 --> 01:24:16,900
How about you?
You still breaking boards...

1459
01:24:17,000 --> 01:24:19,000
...or kicking holes in pumpkins
or anything?

1460
01:24:19,200 --> 01:24:20,800
No.

1461
01:24:21,400 --> 01:24:24,700
But I did start taking baby aspirin
to reduce my risk for heart attack.

1462
01:24:24,900 --> 01:24:27,700
That makes sense.
Gotta keep an eye on it, you know.

1463
01:24:27,800 --> 01:24:30,900
- Knock off the sweets.
- Thank you.

1464
01:24:35,100 --> 01:24:38,200
It's a truly funny observation.

1465
01:24:38,400 --> 01:24:39,600
Yeah.

1466
01:24:39,800 --> 01:24:42,200
Dale, the empanadas
are starting to sweat.

1467
01:24:42,400 --> 01:24:44,600
Okay. I better run.

1468
01:24:44,800 --> 01:24:46,600
- It's good to see you, Brennan.
- You too.

1469
01:24:46,800 --> 01:24:49,900
- Take care, be well. Take care, Dad.
- Okay, buddy.

1470
01:24:50,100 --> 01:24:52,500
- It's great to talk to him.
- Yeah.

1471
01:24:53,200 --> 01:24:54,400
I gotta go too.

1472
01:24:54,500 --> 01:24:57,700
We should do this again.
I think it was very constructive.

1473
01:25:01,900 --> 01:25:04,300
- Maybe grab a bite to eat?
- Sure.

1474
01:25:04,400 --> 01:25:06,200
- Go to Outback Steakhouse.
- Okay.

1475
01:25:06,400 --> 01:25:08,100
I've grown very fond of that place.

1476
01:25:09,500 --> 01:25:11,400
Thank you for coming.

1477
01:25:11,600 --> 01:25:13,300
Great to see you.

1478
01:25:14,800 --> 01:25:17,200
It was very nice to see you, Robert.

1479
01:25:17,700 --> 01:25:23,200
I think Brennan organized this
whole thing to get us back together.

1480
01:25:25,100 --> 01:25:29,800
You have to excuse me.
I think that I just might cry.

1481
01:25:30,000 --> 01:25:33,500
It's the funniest thing. Bye-bye.

1482
01:25:37,500 --> 01:25:39,900
"Start the Fire," buddy!

1483
01:25:40,500 --> 01:25:43,700
Come on, man. Play something
from <i>The Stranger!</i>

1484
01:25:43,900 --> 01:25:46,700
We strictly do '80s Joel music, sir.

1485
01:25:50,000 --> 01:25:51,900
'80s Billy Joel doo-wop sucks!

1486
01:25:52,100 --> 01:25:54,700
Hey, listen, motherfucker,
we only sing '80s Joel!

1487
01:25:54,800 --> 01:25:57,600
So take your skank hooker wife
and get the fuck out of here!

1488
01:25:59,600 --> 01:26:00,600
Shit.

1489
01:26:00,800 --> 01:26:02,800
- What's wrong?
- All right. "What's wrong?"

1490
01:26:03,000 --> 01:26:05,200
Get him out of here.
Get his ass out of here!

1491
01:26:05,500 --> 01:26:06,700
Hey.

1492
01:26:06,800 --> 01:26:10,500
Hey, great job, fuck face. You just
busted my nut. This party's shot.

1493
01:26:10,600 --> 01:26:13,200
Just relax. I didn't realize
he would say these things.

1494
01:26:13,300 --> 01:26:15,100
You know what?
You cost me money.

1495
01:26:15,300 --> 01:26:17,800
So this isn't even
a judgment call, man.

1496
01:26:18,000 --> 01:26:20,900
- You're Audi 5000, my friend.
- Derek, can't we talk about this?

1497
01:26:21,000 --> 01:26:22,200
No.

1498
01:26:22,400 --> 01:26:24,100
- Hey.
- Shit.

1499
01:26:24,300 --> 01:26:27,100
- Is everything okay?
- No. He just fired me.

1500
01:26:27,300 --> 01:26:28,600
What happened to the music?

1501
01:26:28,700 --> 01:26:31,500
The band left. The guy freaked out.

1502
01:26:31,700 --> 01:26:32,800
Derek fired me.

1503
01:26:33,000 --> 01:26:35,300
- It's no big deal.
- Robert, you don't get it.

1504
01:26:35,400 --> 01:26:37,000
It's the Catalina Wine Mixer!

1505
01:26:37,200 --> 01:26:39,400
People have killed
to be in the position I'm in.

1506
01:26:39,600 --> 01:26:41,800
- He's right. It's a big deal.
- Here's a thought:

1507
01:26:42,300 --> 01:26:44,600
I see an empty stage.

1508
01:26:44,700 --> 01:26:47,500
I see drums, I see a drummer.

1509
01:26:47,700 --> 01:26:50,100
I see a microphone,
and I see a singer.

1510
01:26:50,200 --> 01:26:51,700
- Dad, come on.
- What?

1511
01:26:51,800 --> 01:26:53,800
- We gave that stuff up.
- We don't do that.

1512
01:26:53,900 --> 01:26:56,400
Listen to me.
Dale, look, when I was a kid...

1513
01:26:56,600 --> 01:26:59,700
...when I was a little boy,
I always wanted to be a dinosaur.

1514
01:26:59,800 --> 01:27:02,600
I wanted to be a <i>Tyrannosaurus rex</i>
more than anything.

1515
01:27:02,800 --> 01:27:05,700
I made my arms short
and I roamed the backyard...

1516
01:27:05,900 --> 01:27:09,500
...and I chased the neighborhood cats,
and I growled and I roared.

1517
01:27:09,700 --> 01:27:11,500
Everybody knew me
and was afraid of me.

1518
01:27:11,700 --> 01:27:13,200
And then one day, my dad said:

1519
01:27:13,300 --> 01:27:17,200
"Bobby, you're 17. It's time
to throw childish things aside."

1520
01:27:17,400 --> 01:27:18,500
And I said, "Okay, Pop."

1521
01:27:18,600 --> 01:27:22,600
But he didn't really say that, he said,
"Stop being a dinosaur and get a job."

1522
01:27:22,800 --> 01:27:26,200
But, you know, I thought to myself,
"I'll go to medical school...

1523
01:27:26,300 --> 01:27:29,600
...I'll practice for a little while,
and then I'll come back to it."

1524
01:27:29,800 --> 01:27:31,600
- Dad...
- How is that a skill?

1525
01:27:31,800 --> 01:27:33,400
But I forgot how to do it.

1526
01:27:33,500 --> 01:27:34,800
You're human.

1527
01:27:34,900 --> 01:27:37,100
- You could never be a dinosaur.
- Yeah.

1528
01:27:38,600 --> 01:27:40,900
Hey, I lost it.

1529
01:27:41,000 --> 01:27:43,000
- Dad, what's the point?
- Yeah.

1530
01:27:43,200 --> 01:27:46,000
The point is
don't lose your dinosaur.

1531
01:27:46,500 --> 01:27:49,300
Yeah. You know, I hated
the way you guys were before.

1532
01:27:49,500 --> 01:27:50,700
I mean, I hated you.

1533
01:27:50,900 --> 01:27:55,600
But it just kills me to see you
so crushed and normal.

1534
01:27:55,800 --> 01:27:57,600
Listen to me, don't listen to me...

1535
01:27:57,800 --> 01:28:01,100
...Prestige Worldwide,
that's what you gotta do.

1536
01:28:01,200 --> 01:28:03,700
- You're saying we should go for it.
- That's what I'm saying.

1537
01:28:05,300 --> 01:28:06,900
What do you think, Brennan?

1538
01:28:07,100 --> 01:28:09,500
I'm so scared right now.
I'm gonna do what's sensible:

1539
01:28:09,700 --> 01:28:11,300
I'm gonna file for unemployment...

1540
01:28:11,500 --> 01:28:14,300
...and I'm gonna try to get a job
at Enterprise Rent-A-Car.

1541
01:28:14,400 --> 01:28:17,200
Because they got
a excellent corporate structure...

1542
01:28:17,400 --> 01:28:20,400
...and they give you the tools
to be your own boss.

1543
01:28:20,600 --> 01:28:22,500
My dad's right.

1544
01:28:22,600 --> 01:28:24,200
This isn't me.

1545
01:28:24,300 --> 01:28:27,500
I'm fucking miserable.
I had to get up at 10:00 this morning.

1546
01:28:27,700 --> 01:28:31,500
And even though
I just got a tidal wave of nerves...

1547
01:28:31,700 --> 01:28:33,400
...I'm going up on that stage...

1548
01:28:33,600 --> 01:28:36,100
...and I'm gonna make beautiful music
for a sad world.

1549
01:28:36,300 --> 01:28:38,600
- Dale...
- That's the boy I know.

1550
01:28:38,800 --> 01:28:40,900
This crowd's gonna eat him alive.

1551
01:28:43,200 --> 01:28:44,600
Wait, what's he doing up there?

1552
01:28:44,800 --> 01:28:47,200
Somebody get him
off the fucking stage!

1553
01:28:47,300 --> 01:28:49,400
Hi. How you doing?

1554
01:28:49,600 --> 01:28:53,000
My name's Dale Doback,
and I hope you like to kick it.

1555
01:28:53,100 --> 01:28:54,900
Oh, go get them, Dale!

1556
01:28:56,300 --> 01:28:57,400
<i>Boats and ho's</i>

1557
01:28:57,500 --> 01:28:59,400
Get off the stage, you dick!

1558
01:28:59,800 --> 01:29:01,300
Stop yelling at him.

1559
01:29:03,400 --> 01:29:05,100
- Terrible!
- Terrible.

1560
01:29:05,300 --> 01:29:06,700
He's a human being.

1561
01:29:06,800 --> 01:29:11,200
<i>Dale has a mangina
Dale has a mangina</i>

1562
01:29:11,300 --> 01:29:12,400
No.

1563
01:29:12,600 --> 01:29:14,700
<i>Gotta have me my boats and ho's</i>

1564
01:29:14,900 --> 01:29:17,300
He's up there alone, Brennan.
He's up there alone.

1565
01:29:18,600 --> 01:29:21,800
<i>Gotta have me my boats and ho's</i>

1566
01:29:22,000 --> 01:29:23,800
- You suck!
- What are you doing, Brennan?

1567
01:29:24,000 --> 01:29:25,100
<i>Gotta have me my...</i>

1568
01:29:25,200 --> 01:29:27,500
Brennan, no!

1569
01:29:28,500 --> 01:29:30,100
- What did you do?
- Oh, Jesus, Nancy.

1570
01:29:30,300 --> 01:29:32,700
I couldn't stand to see him like that.
I miss my son.

1571
01:29:33,000 --> 01:29:37,400
All right. Let me go for a few bars.
Come in soft, but then finish strong.

1572
01:29:37,600 --> 01:29:39,600
- Okay. Hey, Brennan?
- Yeah.

1573
01:29:39,700 --> 01:29:42,800
- Thanks for coming up.
- You got it, Dragon.

1574
01:29:43,200 --> 01:29:44,800
We got a little change coming up.

1575
01:29:45,200 --> 01:29:47,400
It's my main man Brennan.

1576
01:30:43,800 --> 01:30:45,100
<i>Boats and ho's</i>

1577
01:31:03,500 --> 01:31:05,100
<i>Boats and ho's</i>

1578
01:31:52,600 --> 01:31:55,700
- You did it, Derek.
- I made a kite fly.

1579
01:31:55,900 --> 01:31:59,400
Brennan, you're the best
big brother ever!

1580
01:32:08,000 --> 01:32:11,700
...floor mats. The ones that match
the seats, and I kind of wanted...

1581
01:32:11,900 --> 01:32:14,400
I traveled 500 miles
to give you my seed.

1582
01:32:14,700 --> 01:32:16,700
Lumberjack!

1583
01:32:57,200 --> 01:32:59,400
Rock the fuck
out of those drums, Dale!

1584
01:32:59,600 --> 01:33:00,800
I'm sorry.

1585
01:33:42,100 --> 01:33:44,900
- We're Prestige Worldwide!
- Prestige Worldwide!

1586
01:33:45,100 --> 01:33:49,100
- Fucking Catalina Wine Mixer.
- It's the fucking Catalina Wine Mixer.

1587
01:33:49,200 --> 01:33:52,100
It's the fucking Catalina Wine Mixer.

1588
01:33:52,500 --> 01:33:53,800
Brennan, that was sublime.

1589
01:33:54,000 --> 01:33:56,300
Amazing.
We are so proud of you both.

1590
01:33:56,500 --> 01:33:58,000
- Thank you.
- Incredible.

1591
01:33:58,200 --> 01:33:59,300
- Thank you so much.
- Hey.

1592
01:33:59,500 --> 01:34:03,400
So I made my quota.
Yeah, we sold a shit-ton of copters.

1593
01:34:03,600 --> 01:34:05,700
- That's so good.
- Yeah.

1594
01:34:05,900 --> 01:34:09,300
Look, I'm not great at
this Hallmark stuff...

1595
01:34:09,500 --> 01:34:11,800
...but, Brennan,
when I look at you now...

1596
01:34:12,000 --> 01:34:14,400
...I don't wanna kick you
in the head quite as much.

1597
01:34:15,900 --> 01:34:17,200
Thanks, man.

1598
01:34:17,400 --> 01:34:18,900
- That was beautiful.
- That was nice.

1599
01:34:19,100 --> 01:34:20,400
Yeah.

1600
01:34:21,300 --> 01:34:23,600
- What do we do now?
- We could hug.

1601
01:34:23,800 --> 01:34:25,900
Yeah, you'd like that, faggot.
Sorry. I'm...

1602
01:34:28,700 --> 01:34:30,200
Okay.

1603
01:34:42,900 --> 01:34:44,800
- It's okay.
- Okay.

1604
01:34:58,600 --> 01:35:01,600
- That's what we've been looking for.
- That's the ticket.

1605
01:35:02,000 --> 01:35:03,300
It's fantastic.

1606
01:35:03,500 --> 01:35:07,000
We've never done anything like that,
so you can't expect it to be perfect.

1607
01:35:07,100 --> 01:35:08,200
It was good.

1608
01:35:08,400 --> 01:35:10,100
- Felt good.
- Gotten close to a hug.

1609
01:35:10,300 --> 01:35:14,500
- Hello, Brennan. Hi.
- Denise. Hey.

1610
01:35:14,600 --> 01:35:17,400
Robert, Mom, Derek,
this is my girlfriend, Denise.

1611
01:35:17,600 --> 01:35:20,700
- Hi. How are you?
- Actually, I'm his therapist.

1612
01:35:20,800 --> 01:35:23,900
- We are in absolutely no way dating.
- Right.

1613
01:35:24,000 --> 01:35:27,800
Brennan told me he was going to
hurl his body off a helicopter...

1614
01:35:28,000 --> 01:35:30,200
...into shark-infested waters...

1615
01:35:30,400 --> 01:35:32,800
...so I had a legal obligation
to be here.

1616
01:35:32,900 --> 01:35:34,100
I get it.

1617
01:35:34,300 --> 01:35:38,200
Don't wanna appear too eager,
and that is a good strategy too.

1618
01:35:38,400 --> 01:35:40,500
You are an enabler.
You think you're helping...

1619
01:35:40,700 --> 01:35:42,400
...but you're not.
- And you are a keeper.

1620
01:35:42,600 --> 01:35:44,400
What'd you think?

1621
01:35:45,400 --> 01:35:49,700
Brennan, I thought
you were incredibly brave.

1622
01:35:49,900 --> 01:35:50,900
And I mean that...

1623
01:35:51,100 --> 01:35:54,400
...in strictly the most clinical
and professional sense possible...

1624
01:35:54,600 --> 01:35:58,000
...with no emotional,
intimate, sexual...

1625
01:35:58,200 --> 01:36:00,800
...or any other undertones
that you could possibly infer.

1626
01:36:01,000 --> 01:36:03,700
God, you're gonna make me cry.

1627
01:36:04,300 --> 01:36:07,900
What poem is that from?
Is that James Joyce?

1628
01:36:08,100 --> 01:36:09,700
Alice...

1629
01:36:10,600 --> 01:36:12,700
...I like making sex with you.
- Yeah.

1630
01:36:12,900 --> 01:36:16,600
I do. But you're also married.

1631
01:36:17,100 --> 01:36:18,700
It's over.

1632
01:36:19,800 --> 01:36:21,100
This is crazy. I'm a mother.

1633
01:36:21,300 --> 01:36:24,000
I have two children,
I have a husband, a beautiful home.

1634
01:36:24,200 --> 01:36:27,300
- I can't be fucking around with you.
- It was fun. It was fun, right?

1635
01:36:27,500 --> 01:36:30,700
- It was fun while it lasted.
- I'm glad. All right, well, good luck.

1636
01:36:33,000 --> 01:36:36,800
- No.
- Oh, my God, Dale!

1637
01:36:37,000 --> 01:36:40,000
- Please don't leave me.
- Oh, my God. Look at that whale.

1638
01:36:40,100 --> 01:36:41,700
Where?

1639
01:36:44,800 --> 01:36:46,200
Dale!

1640
01:36:52,200 --> 01:36:53,400
So I was with Seal...

1641
01:36:53,600 --> 01:36:57,000
...and we were just taking a chopper
up to Everest base camp...

1642
01:36:57,200 --> 01:36:59,400
...and the plot to my Sherpa...
- Derek. Derek.

1643
01:37:00,100 --> 01:37:02,400
- Sorry. Okay.
- Remember, we talked about this.

1644
01:37:02,900 --> 01:37:05,500
Dale, Brennan.
Tell me about the karaoke business.

1645
01:37:05,800 --> 01:37:08,600
Really great, Dad.
Yeah. We call it Karaoke 'n' Roll.

1646
01:37:09,300 --> 01:37:12,400
We got six bars, three restaurants,
and two more wanna sign up.

1647
01:37:12,500 --> 01:37:14,500
- So it's booming.
- Fantastic.

1648
01:37:14,700 --> 01:37:16,400
Most karaoke it's,
"Open to everyone.

1649
01:37:16,600 --> 01:37:18,800
- "Hey, just get up and have fun."
- Not you guys.

1650
01:37:19,000 --> 01:37:21,300
If you can't sing, just sit down.
That's our motto.

1651
01:37:21,500 --> 01:37:24,100
- It's the big leagues.
- You guys are doing so great.

1652
01:37:24,300 --> 01:37:28,300
Guys, I have a little Christmas
surprise for Dale and Brennan.

1653
01:37:29,400 --> 01:37:30,900
- You wanna see it?
- Yes!

1654
01:37:31,100 --> 01:37:33,500
- You bet!
- Let's go look at it! Come on.

1655
01:37:33,600 --> 01:37:35,200
- Don't peek.
- I smell cookies.

1656
01:37:35,400 --> 01:37:37,300
Be patient. No, no. No, no.

1657
01:37:38,600 --> 01:37:41,500
- Just a piñata, isn't it?
- Be patient. Be patient.

1658
01:37:41,600 --> 01:37:43,500
- Be patient.
- Did you get me a tiger, Dad?

1659
01:37:43,700 --> 01:37:44,800
Okay, open your eyes.

1660
01:37:45,200 --> 01:37:46,200
Merry Christmas.

1661
01:37:46,400 --> 01:37:48,000
Holy shit!

1662
01:37:48,500 --> 01:37:51,700
Dad, I can't believe
you put the boat in the tree!

1663
01:37:51,900 --> 01:37:53,000
This is amazing!

1664
01:37:54,200 --> 01:37:57,500
- It's <i>The Gilded Lady.</i> She lives!
- I can't believe it.

1665
01:37:57,700 --> 01:38:01,800
- How'd you get it up here?
- Oh, Robert, it's so great.

1666
01:38:02,300 --> 01:38:04,200
- Pirate hats!
- Pirate hats!

1667
01:38:07,600 --> 01:38:09,300
<i>- Hustlers!
- Hustlers!</i>

1668
01:38:09,500 --> 01:38:11,600
Dad, that was so thoughtful!

1669
01:38:13,800 --> 01:38:16,500
- Crossbows!
- Crossbows!

1670
01:38:16,600 --> 01:38:19,600
You guys finally came to your senses
and got us something cool.

1671
01:38:19,900 --> 01:38:22,200
You both know this is
completely fucked up, right?

1672
01:38:22,400 --> 01:38:23,800
- Yeah.
- Of course.

1673
01:38:24,100 --> 01:38:28,000
But Brennan sure can wear the shit
out of that pirate hat.

1674
01:38:28,100 --> 01:38:31,000
- Chewbacca masks!
- Chewbacca masks!

1675
01:38:34,700 --> 01:38:37,800
It's okay that mine's
not movie-quality.

1676
01:39:03,800 --> 01:39:07,300
But he's like, "No, because you drove
my car last week, so I can't get it."

1677
01:39:07,400 --> 01:39:11,400
So I'm like "You're gonna buy it for me
or I'm gonna sock you in the mouth."

1678
01:39:19,600 --> 01:39:21,900
Oh, shit.

1679
01:39:27,700 --> 01:39:31,300
Well, if it isn't Dale Doback
and his little butt buddy.

1680
01:39:31,500 --> 01:39:33,500
Sticks and stones
may break my bones...

1681
01:39:33,700 --> 01:39:37,200
...but I'm gonna kick you repeatedly
in the balls, Gardocki!

1682
01:39:37,400 --> 01:39:39,800
Let's get them!

1683
01:40:26,200 --> 01:40:29,000
- Where do you think you're going?
- Home.

1684
01:40:29,100 --> 01:40:32,200
- We got something to show you.
- Come on.

1685
01:40:32,900 --> 01:40:36,000
- You see that white dog crap?
- Do you see it?!

1686
01:40:36,300 --> 01:40:38,600
- Yeah.
- Not too fun down there, is it?

1687
01:40:38,700 --> 01:40:40,000
- No.
- You see?

1688
01:40:40,100 --> 01:40:41,900
Your actions have consequences!

1689
01:40:42,100 --> 01:40:47,000
When you oppress people,
they rise up in a fiery anger!

1690
01:40:47,500 --> 01:40:48,700
Go home.

1691
01:40:50,400 --> 01:40:53,700
We're not like you.
We're grown-ups, motherfucker!

1692
01:40:53,900 --> 01:40:57,900
Say hi to your dad.
We went to high school together.

1693
01:41:03,800 --> 01:41:06,200
The cops'll be here soon.

1694
01:41:07,000 --> 01:41:09,600
I guess this is what it feels like
to be grown up.

1695
01:41:09,700 --> 01:41:11,200
Hey.

1696
01:41:11,700 --> 01:41:13,500
Can I ask you something?

1697
01:41:13,700 --> 01:41:15,100
Yeah, of course.

1698
01:41:15,300 --> 01:41:17,000
You know back when
you first moved in?

1699
01:41:17,200 --> 01:41:18,200
Yeah.

1700
01:41:18,400 --> 01:41:21,000
- Did you touch my drum set?
- No, I didn't.

1701
01:41:21,200 --> 01:41:23,300
No, really, I won't get mad.
I just wanna know.

1702
01:41:23,500 --> 01:41:25,400
No, I know.
You said you wouldn't get mad.

1703
01:41:25,600 --> 01:41:28,300
I'm saying I didn't do it.
I didn't do it, I never did it.

1704
01:41:28,400 --> 01:41:30,300
- Then I owe you an apology.
- No.

1705
01:41:30,400 --> 01:41:32,100
No, you don't, at all. No.

1706
01:41:32,200 --> 01:41:34,700
Why wouldn't you take an apology
if you didn't do it?

1707
01:41:34,900 --> 01:41:37,700
Just because I'm cool.
It doesn't matter.

1708
01:45:18,400 --> 01:45:19,800
You got my passport.

1709
01:45:21,000 --> 01:45:22,000
I'm good.

1710
01:45:25,800 --> 01:45:28,800
Don't worry, not gonna be late.
Don't worry.